03/02/17 2:02pm
The B-110, MTA's white whale, in Borough Park - via Wikimedia

The B-110, MTA’s white whale, in Borough Park. Photo via Wikimedia

Have you ever noticed a 1970’s-era city bus cruising through Brooklyn carrying exclusively Hasidic passengers? That’s the B-110 bus, the MTA’s white whale and the subject of the inaugural edition of The Brokelyn Files, our new series where we investigate local mysteries. This week’s mystery: What’s the deal with the most mysterious bus line in the MTA’s fleet, the B-110? (more…)

10/26/16 12:15pm
Fake MTA poster urges Donald Trump not to grope women on the train, or anywhere

You know that guy manspreads too. Via Emilio Herce.

The MTA frequently reminds you through official signs that a crowded train is not an excuse for unwanted sexual contact. While most commuters heed the message, it seems not to have gotten through to the Republican candidate for president, who is responsible for bringing a conversation about “is groping cool or nah” into the race for the most important position in the world.

So someone made this official-looking MTA sign as a reminder to him, and anyone, that you shouldn’t grab women by the anywhere, no matter if you’re commuting to work or hosting a reality show. Friend of Brokelyn Emilio Herce spotted this last night on an uptown 2 train when he got on at 72nd St. last night and sent it to us. It’s unclear who made it, but the MTA confirms it’s definitely not them. (more…)

09/07/16 2:46pm
Nitehawk is taking over the Pavilion Theater, giving hope not everything will become condos eventuallyNitehawk is taking over the Pavilion Theater, giving hope not everything will become condos eventuallyNitehawk is taking over the Pavilion Theater, giving hope not everything will become condos eventually

Andrea Dezsö, “Community Garden”, 2006, is found at the Bedford Park Blvd station. The MTA is seeking new artists for Brooklyn stations. Via Facebook.

You might not appreciate it in between bouts of playing tunnel peekaboo with the R train or gaping at these mind-numbingly pandering advertisements, but subway stations can be great places to take in some art. And by that we mean both the creatively graffitied subway billboards that turn Kevin Can Wait into Kevin Can PENIS, and also the officially sanctioned subway art like the kaleidoscope in Dekalb Avenue tunnel or the tile murals, lights and sculptures you see elsewhere. How do that art get there? It comes from creative and attractive people like you!

The MTA is currently seeking submissions for artists who want to see their work adorn five Brooklyn subway stations. The opportunity means your art can become a permanent part of the city infrastructure, and you’ll get paid a few thousand bucks too.  (more…)

06/07/16 4:09pm
Tonka and the truck. via Youtube

Tonka and the truck. via Youtube

Horses are a rare sight in this concrete jungle where memes are made of. One of last summer’s hottest news stories was that of the mysterious “Franklin Avenue Horseman,” and when the TODAY show brought in that same Brooklyn horse to meet Terry Crews on live television, we went wild all over again. Suffice it to say, Brooklyn should be as proud of its equine citizens as it is of its human ones.

This weekend, the New York Transit Museum is celebrating their 40th anniversary with a free all-day, all-ages block party on Schermerhorn Street in Downtown Brooklyn. And guess who’s going to be in attendance? Yep, that’s right — besides the transportation games, live entertainment and vintage buses to board and explore, you too can now meet the blog-famous Brooklyn-trotting horse that once terrorized our streets and touched Terry Crews.

Heck, if you shake the horse’s hoof, it’s as though you met the man.  (more…)

05/12/16 3:00pm

The G train is the skinny jeans of the subway system, the artisanal mayonnaise store of public transit, in that it’s the butt of easy Brooklyn jokes, all the good ones of which have been made about eight years ago. Two videos about the G appeared in our inboxes today: The above is a faux-History Channel documentary take on the mysterious G train. “In the history of railroad travel, there is no train more elusive than the G,” the video goes before cutting to person-on-the-street interviews with people making the sort of comments about the G train that they make about a sasquatch. The video is cute and funny enough, as is this other one featuring Brokelyn faves Jo Firestone and Tyler Fischer on a date, which ends abruptly when Tyler realizes Jo lives off the G.

But the time of making fun of the G train needs to come to an end. It’s never been as bad as you thought, it’s not leaving you like the L train is and, unlike your job, it doesn’t force you to go into Manhattan, ever. Let’s celebrate the G train, the tortoise of the subway system: She’s the Gowanus Canal of trains, the pre-2015 Mets of the underground. She might not look like much, but there’s a lot of sturdy potential there to appreciate. (more…)

05/11/16 3:00pm
A spirit guide for every occasion.

A spirit guide for every occasion.

The subway can turn even the most tranquil soul into a raging beast. MTA ridership is clocking in at nearly six million daily riders, and sometimes it feels like all six mil are going out of their way to make your commute miserable. As George Costanza would admonish, “You know we’re living in a society!” For real: it’s wild out there. And in order to make it from point A to point B in this crush of savage mammals, you need a little help. You need to be feisty, fierce, instinctual, calm, and compassionate. You need to channel your animal spirit guide.

Traditional thinking on spirit animals is that you don’t choose your animal; it chooses you. But this is the rush-hour NYC subway we’re talking about, and you don’t have time to wait for your unconscious mind to discover things (unless you’re waiting for the G to arrive, in which case you’ve got all the time in the world). Take the bull by the horns (see below) with these six spirit animals that can help you navigate your subway ride peacefully. We’ve provided a guide on how to channel each one. Here’s hoping that summoning these creatures can help you tame the beast within. (more…)

04/26/16 1:35pm

We don’t know exactly what, we don’t know exactly when, but some time in the near future, the L train is going to really screw up your life in some ways. And yes, this means even you, person who doesn’t ride the L train and makes fun of people who do — because all those people, the young tattooed folks, the people who’ve lived in Bushwick for generations, people in hats, ya uncle from Canarsie, are gonna dump into the rest of the MTA system and cause ripple effects all over your commute. We know so far the MTA is thinking of shutting down the L train completely for 18 months or partially for a few years to repair damage from Hurricane SAndy, but nothing is going to happen until 2019. So while you’re debating whether you can get to work via tugboats or hovercrafts, you can actually go talk to the MTA to give them your feedback on the L train plans and maybe get some more info on what the L is going on. (more…)

04/18/16 4:54pm
How long should you wait for a train before giving up? Someone finally figured out the answer

Now you can know how boned your are even in station’s without countdown clocks. Via Flickr user Pink Iguana.

This is one of the most stressing NYC dilemmas: You’re in a rush to get somewhere and the train is nowhere to be found. You’re underground so you can’t check the train status on your phone and you have no idea what’s happening, whether the train hiding is just around the tunnel bend about to pop out or it’s been rerouted to the land of wind and ghosts forever. How long should you wait for the train before going above ground again and trying some other way to get where you’re going?

Now there’s finally an answer: An engineer analyzed the MTA’s public data to determine how long you should wait before giving up: 11 minutes. After that, the odds that you’re facing a serious delay are high so you might as well swim your ass home.  (more…)

04/04/16 4:17pm
The seats are cleaner and the cell service is better. Devyn Caldwell / Flickr

The seats are cleaner and the cell service is better. Devyn Caldwell / Flickr

Somehow, even though it’s not actually happening until 2018, the coming L train shutdown remains the buzziest topic in the borough. And just when you thought things were dying down, the Wall Street Journal announced yesterday that the L might have to shut down on the Manhattan side too, and everyone’s up in arms again.

In light of this ongoing media fear-mongering — which has caused arguably the worst case of seasonal creep we’ve ever seen — we feel it’s high time we remind you that BUSES WORK, TOO. They may not be as frequently immortalized in film, or as reviled for gropers, or as romanticized in Patti smith novels, but city buses are just as functional, and way more reliable, than subways. How? Let us count the ways. (more…)

03/09/16 12:34pm
The new design for the wifi, USB-enabled buses. Via Gov. Cuomo's office.

The new design for the wifi, USB-enabled buses. Via Gov. Cuomo’s office.

Millennials are to blame for everything, even when we’re getting things we never asked for. We’re ruining the car industry, shrinking hotel rooms, refusing to eat cereal, taking jobs away from debt collectors and destroying our nation’s vital Hot Pockets complex. I’ll take full responsibility for refusing to go into debt or own a hunk of gas guzzling death metal, but this new MTA bus plan? Don’t pin this one on us, guys.

Proving that they understand millennials about as well as a macrobrew beer company, Gov. Cuomo and the MTA announced yesterday they were introducing new city buses that would be outfitted with wifi and USB ports.

“As more and more millennials enter the system and use it daily … these are expectations, not desires on their part,” MTA chairman Thomas Prendergast said. “Many of the young people using our system today grew up with a smartphone in one hand and a tablet in the other.” So that’s why no one is eating cereal: no spoon hand! Anyway, this one isn’t on us, no one asked for it, it’s the Fuller House of  transit ideas. Here are 25 things millennials actually want from the MTA.  (more…)