10/07/14 3:12pm
department of sanitation

“We solemnly swear to enjoy the sweet pension we get from this job.” via Facebook

Hey, you, reading a blog at 3pm on a weekday. You need a job? Why not get on the road to being a New York City garbageman? You can laugh all you want if you think we’re kidding, but registration is open for the next civil service test to join the Department of Sanitation, and if you want to turn your nose up at the job, you can just go back to your shitty life that doesn’t include across-the-board health insurance, a pension and a chance to move up in the department. Yeah, who’s laughing now. (more…)

09/29/14 2:06pm
826nyc

Make sure these kids learn how to read good and things. via Facebook

You consider yourself a good person because you pay your taxes and don’t push other pedestrians into traffic, don’t start too many bar fights and have a charitable streak in you. Other people have also commented on your goodness. You’re also unemployed, but have some experience in education. Well, lucky you, because 826NYC, the nonprofit devoted to superhero supply and helping children in their creative writing endeavors, is hiring an office manager/field trip manager for their Williamsburg location. Can you be the office manager that these kids deserve and the one they need? (more…)

09/24/14 1:25pm
brooklyn botanic garden

This could be where you work. via Facebook

Alright, this is starting to get ridiculous. How are all of these amazing jobs still hiring with so many talented, driven New Yorkers like yourself lying around? You’d think all the good jobs would be taken forever by now, but week after week I keep finding better and better employment opportunities. Do me a solid and take a few of these awesome jobs so maybe next time I can write a shorter article. Thanks! (more…)

09/16/14 3:15pm
brooklyn boulders

They’re gonna be crawling all over you, but that’s OK, apply today! via Facebook

Do you hate your current job because there’s not enough rock climbing or children? That’s a very specific reason to be upset with your job! Still, in this instance, it’s paying off, because Brooklyn Boulders wants someone who loves kids and loves rock climbing to join their team on their belay staff. Are you ready for a life of getting kids excited about climbing on stuff?  (more…)

09/10/14 3:54pm
murray's cheese

If you want to tell people that cheese is good, for a living we mean, inquire with Murray. via Facebook

Let me be honest with you here for a second: digging for jobs is hard work. Scrolling through page after page of people looking for “interns” and “willing to pay with exposure” to find the actually awesome jobs is tough, but I know that if I can help just one person get the job that makes people give an impressed look when they’re introduced at dinner parties, I’ll know my work has paid off. That’s a little something called job satisfaction, and if you don’t know anything about that, just keep on reading, because these jobs will provide it. (more…)

09/08/14 11:26am
brooklyn public library

This could be you! The librarian, not the kids. via Facebook

Hey, have you heard the good news? The library has more money in their budget than they had last year, according to a very excited press release. What it means for you is extended hours and more libraries open on weekends, if you’re the type of person who wants to hang out in the library on weekends. Having money though also means that the library is doing a bunch of hiring. Want to be a librarian? Want to be handle the library’s social media? Want to be a custodian? Well today is your lucky day, bub. (more…)

08/28/14 10:39am
weedhire

Janitors. Weed places probably need janitors.

America is wacky for weed now that it’s being legalized in bits and pieces across the country, and you’re probably thinking it’s about time you put your lifetime of experience in the subject matter to use in a job that would appreciate it. Well lucky for you, a new job board, WeedHire, is now out there that allows you to look for jobs and post resumes for employers in the legal pot industry. These are the days of miracle and wonder. (more…)

08/27/14 2:09pm
franny's

Can you help manage the people who manage this oven? Then apply today! via Facebook

Alright, you’re doing pretty well. You live in New York City, presumably in a very urban-chic (small) apartment, you’ve found your soulmate or are at least stalking him on Twitter, so there’s one thing is missing: The kickass New York job where you work hard and play harder. To help you complete this final requirement in what 99% of people agree is “winning,” here are a bevy of jobs for you to choose from. Also, I think you might need a pet as well, to really push you over the top. (more…)

08/19/14 10:15am
dogecoin

Did you major in Dogeconomics? Have we got a job for you. via the Daily Dot

How much do you know about the viral internet? If you answered “I have watched the video where the guy fucks the snake,” then we’re very sorry for you, but we also have a job for you. Internet newshole The Daily Dot needs a morning editor to run their virtual newsroom and win the day when it comes to spotting the viral stuff that people will be talking about. Like the snake fucking video. (more…)

08/12/14 11:44am
brooklyn industries

That could be you, telling people, “Hey, put that back.” via Facebook

So you saw all the BuzzFeed jobs, but shrugged, because media isn’t really your thing, fashion is. Usually we’d tell you not not to be picky, but what do you know, it’s paying off for once because Brooklyn Industries is having a job fair for management on Thursday at their Union Square store. Make sure you’re good as bossing people around, but doing it in a Brooklyn way, which we guess means shrugging while you tell someone to do something. (more…)