08/27/14 2:09pm
franny's

Can you help manage the people who manage this oven? Then apply today! via Facebook

Alright, you’re doing pretty well. You live in New York City, presumably in a very urban-chic (small) apartment, you’ve found your soulmate or are at least stalking him on Twitter, so there’s one thing is missing: The kickass New York job where you work hard and play harder. To help you complete this final requirement in what 99% of people agree is “winning,” here are a bevy of jobs for you to choose from. Also, I think you might need a pet as well, to really push you over the top. (more…)

08/19/14 10:15am
dogecoin

Did you major in Dogeconomics? Have we got a job for you. via the Daily Dot

How much do you know about the viral internet? If you answered “I have watched the video where the guy fucks the snake,” then we’re very sorry for you, but we also have a job for you. Internet newshole The Daily Dot needs a morning editor to run their virtual newsroom and win the day when it comes to spotting the viral stuff that people will be talking about. Like the snake fucking video. (more…)

08/12/14 11:44am
brooklyn industries

That could be you, telling people, “Hey, put that back.” via Facebook

So you saw all the BuzzFeed jobs, but shrugged, because media isn’t really your thing, fashion is. Usually we’d tell you not not to be picky, but what do you know, it’s paying off for once because Brooklyn Industries is having a job fair for management on Thursday at their Union Square store. Make sure you’re good as bossing people around, but doing it in a Brooklyn way, which we guess means shrugging while you tell someone to do something. (more…)

08/11/14 10:07am
buzzfeed

Not to worry, they’re an equal opportunity employer

So, BuzzFeed is being valued by some investment mavens at something close to a billion dollars. Regardless of how that might make you feel, there’s one way in which the mysterious world of valuations and dudes with monocles throwing money at Jurassic Park-based explainer websites can benefit you, the common schlub: BuzzFeed has so many job openings right now. Presumably, you have so many rent monies to deliver to your landlord, so hey, win-win. (more…)

08/08/14 11:34am
children's book council

Your job could be telling people: This is a good thing. via Facebook

Looking for an exciting and positive way to make some extra cash while helping promote the idea to kids that reading cool? The Children’s Book Council and Every Child a Reader foundation is looking for someone to commit at least 15 hours per week to act as a communications assistant to help them communicate their message that books are good. (more…)

07/30/14 2:51pm
sports illustrated jobs

Replace “on the cover” with “in the office” and there you go. via Facebook

If you are currently on this website, then we can deduce three things about you: First of all, you have excellent taste and probably very stunning facial features, second, that you live in Brooklyn or nearby, and third, that you are not overly rich. To help out with the money problem, since you’ve already got the location and arrestingly good looks covered, have you considered getting a sweet, kick-ass job that would turn your life into the physical form of an epic guitar solo? No? Well check out these awesome jobs and see if you start to hear any music. (more…)

07/28/14 4:05pm
story pirates

Quick, make up what’s happening here! Because we have no idea. via Facebook

You can act, but you’re not on Broadway yet. We mean, you wait some tables on Broadway, the block, but it’s not quite the same. Here’s a good break though, that could let you escape the monotony of not acting: Story Pirates, the traveling troupe of actors that solicit stories from kids and then makes plays out of the stories, is hiring actors for the 2014-15 season. You’ve gotta like kids, or failing that, be such a good actor that people think you do. (more…)

07/16/14 4:05pm
iraq and afghanistan veterans of america

You can help the Iraq and Aghanistan Veterans of America help veterans AND get paid (don’t worry though, you won’t have to go to DC). via Facebook

Hello, all, and happy meeting you again! It is I, the Grand Job Czar of Brokelyn, here to point you to the most exquisite jobs available in New York City. You may be asking, “Why should I trust these magnificent-sounding jobs being thrust at me by this large man in a tinfoil hat?” Well, first off, it’s a crown, and secondly, because ever since I was a small child, all I ever wanted to do with my time was to help people find the most bitchenest places to work possible, and that’s exactly what I do now! So, if I could do it for me, then I can certainly do it for you too, and checking out these awesome job listings below is a great first step. (more…)

07/10/14 11:26am
us open job fair

This could be you! Maybe!

Everyone’s all agog over the World Cup, but there are still other sports that are going on right here in Real America. No, not baseball, both teams are too depressing to think about right now. We mean good old fashioned tennis! The U.S Open will be landing at Queens’ Arthur Ashe Stadium in August, and they’re gonna need people to work the event. That could be you, if you make it out to their job fair today. (more…)

07/09/14 1:54pm
crumbs bake shop

Taylor Swift’s anti-Midas touch strikes yet another national retail chain. via Facebook

As a budding journalist/writer these posts aren’t all that pays the bills, if at all. Like so many freelancers, I had a second job in the service industry, serving coffee and sweets, in this case, at Crumbs in Brooklyn. Emphasis on the had. This past Monday, after coming home from a shift, my boss called me to let me know that Crumbs was no more and neither of us had a job.

It happened so suddenly I was shocked, exhilarated even. One retailer who doesn’t appreciate its employees down, a bajillion more to go. For the whole company to go under is one of the most dramatic and epic of ways to lose your job. Not every day does a fellow employee get quoted in The Wall Street Journal. (more…)