Maybe give some to Occupy Sandy. via Facebook

So we’ve already got one way to argue over how to spend gobs of money, at least if you live in Brad Lander’s district and want to be part of his participatory budget-palooza. If you don’t live in Lander’s district, don’t get bummed out about not being able to spend huge amounts of money, because you’ve got two more chances in front of you. One, involves how Ikea should help Red Hook, and and the other is the big kahuna: how do we spend the money the federal government gave us after we clawed it out of their horrible hands. (more…)

Although, we guess you can hang out at the bar while the person shops for you. via Flickr user Urban_Lisa

So we’ve previously covered how much it costs you to to shlep all your crap home from Ikea (both a useful guide AND a window into Tim’s hairstyle at the time). But we’ve also gotten sage relationship advice from cupcake genius Allison Robicelli that included a whole paragraph on not going to Ikea. Fortunately for you, Ikea has a way to avoid both the shlepping and the fighting, and still get your stuff, but of course, it’ll cost you. For $99, you can give them a list of all the stuff you want, and they’ll both buy it for you and deliver it to you. So, the question is, is the Picking with Delivery service worth it? (more…)

A horse is a horse of course of course, unless it’s a meatball

IKEA’s great for lots of things, like outfitting your room with duct-taped MALM dressers that fall apart as soon as a subway train rumbles under your building, or finding a Zooey Deschanel/Joseph Gordon-Levitt lookalike and re-enacting that scene from 500 Days of Summer. One of IKEA’s worst-kept, best secrets, though, is the retailer’s super cheap food, like dollar soft-serve ice cream and sweet, saucy frozen Swedish meatballs. But while we assumed the worst thing about those meatballs was our tendency to eat a whole bag in one sitting, we might have been wrong, because traces of horse meat were reportedly found in them in the Czech Republic. NO, BLACK BEAUTY, NO!!! (more…)

What else is there to say? Photo by Brooklyn Brewery.

There’s not much crossflow in cultural knowledge between Brooklyn and Sweden. Thanks to them, we’ve got Vikings, Swedish Fish candies, meatballs, Ikea (obviously), and this one songwriting competition about the G train whose winner was sent to Sweden. It’s not a very extensive list, but now we have a big bragging right that we can tag onto it: the building of a Brooklyn Brewery in Stockholm. Hopefully they don’t take our champion, The Defender, with them. (more…)

On Black Friday (only three more days!), these cute little Ikea Lack tables, which are usually a whopping $9.99, are on sale for a mere $4.99.  Their simplistic design makes it easy to customize them for unique holiday gift giving on the cheap. Who wouldn’t want an end table with your faced decoupaged on top? For helpful design hints, including a way to make a kitchen island or an ottoman out of your lack, check this out. Ikea, 1 Beard St. Red Hook. 

Best thing about having a job: lunch break. Photo by @newyorkpizzaco

We told you Sandy would create jobs. A tipster on Facebook sent us the following job opportunities at ConEd:

ConEdison has IMMEDIATE openings (900) for Safety Site Inspectors stationed in every borough. Duties to include placing yellow safety tape around areas with downed trees ensuring that the public stay away from trees or downed lines. Candidates must have their own vehicle, clean driver’s license and work boots. Shifts from 7AM – 7PM, and 7PM – 7AM paying $25 per hour. (Company will waive background checks).  (more…)

Sandy washed this boat ashore just down the street from Ikea. Photo by The Atlantic.

Sandy did her best to bring the Hudson River to Red Hook, and as a result, Brooklyn is left without meatballs, umlaut-based furniture and a destination for fresh produce.

From the Ikea website:

IKEA Brooklyn will be closing at 3pm October 28th and remain closed through Wednesday, October 31. We hope to resume business Thursday morning, November 1….There will be NO PUBLIC TRANSPORT to and from IKEA Brooklyn after 7pm Sunday until further notice. Please check the MTA website for updates. Due to Hurricane Sandy there will be NO HOME DELIVERIES from Monday October 29th through Wednesday October 31st. In addition there will be NO WATER TAXI SERVICE to and from IKEA and Pier 11 in Manhattan from Sunday October 28th through Wednesday the October 31st.

The phone at Fairway seems to have been disconnected, so we’re assuming it’s also closed. Any Red Hook readers have reports?

Update: The Red Hook Fairway is apparently giving away it’s perishables. Have at ‘em!

Uppleva, down with wires.

You know how on 30 Rock, Kabletown, NBC’s fictional parent company, is getting into the couch building business so they control every aspect of your home entertainment? This is kind of like that, but in reverse, and with a Swedish accent. Ikea announced it’s introducing a not-a-TV, not-a-piece-of-furniture device called the Uppleva, which is an all-in-one TV stand containing a Blue Ray player, speakers, a wireless subwoofer, and, in sleek Swedish style, a place to hide all your wires and connections. It’s hitting the market in the fall, with prices starting at $960 for the whole shebang. Is this a good deal for a TV? Would it break your very Brooklyn-y anti-TV prohibition in your home? Does it come pre-loaded with HBO so you can watch that hot new 20-something fantasy Girls of Thrones?

[via engadget]

Not pictured: tiny meatball grease stains.

Ikea: terrible and amazing, brilliant but Machiavellian, a money saving place to get your furnishings without worrying about your kids and a guaranteed way to ruin your relationship in the process. So we’re all conflicted about Ikea, but the Swedish furniture embassy is trying to make your experience slightly less traumatic: Ikea just launched its first YouTube series of how-to videos on assembling its notoriously tricky furniture pieces. It also includes videos aimed at helping you “find your style,” and it turns out “your style” involves lots of Ikea stuff! The assembly videos are meant to complement the printed instructions. They’re similarly full of cutesy images and devoid of complicated narration. Only two products are available right now, but Ikea says it will add one new one ever week. “We understand that not everyone is a natural DIY-er at heart,” an Ikea spokeswoman said in a press release. But at least we can help you get the stuff home by yourself. 

You can be a TaskRabbit like Chris M. -- or hire one.

Maybe you’ve heard about TaskRabbit, the web site where you can post small jobs for pre-screened helpers to bid on. We’ve written about them; I recently reviewed TaskRabbit for New York Magazine. Since it was a positive experience, I’m happy to pass along a tip that you can get $25 off your first task through 1/22 by entering SCOUTMOB at checkout. (The deal isn’t on the app.) Also, if you have a van / toolkit / mad Ikea assembly skills (a top NYC request) the service is still hiring rabbits, especially “handymen, house cleaners and those with ready access to easy transportation (cars)” says Jamie Viggiano, head of marketing for the company. You have to be pretty hardcore to eek out a living as a full-time rabbit, but a few of the part-timers I met were profitably supplementing day jobs with a few TR gigs a week.