11/10/14 4:10pm
red hook ikea

It’s hard out there on the Ikea streets. via Flickr user Ham Hock

A long time ago, we told you about the best ways to get your malms ‘n’ things back from the Red Hook Ikea. It was a useful article, but in keeping with the times, we’ll suggest you also keep your head on a swivel there, or show up heavily armed, because according to DNA Info, crime is on the rise at Ikea. With any luck, things will calm down before the Swedish government sends a crack team of super soldat to restore order to the furniture store. (more…)

06/04/14 12:00pm

Malm Dresser Azure

Attention Ikea shoppers: so great that you finally got those birch veneer shelves! What a bummer everyone else has them too! Want to pretend your particle board composite storage is something way more quirky and interesting? With Panyl, the grooviest home innovation since clap lights, your Malm dresser doesn’t have to be meh anymore — using giant stickers you can turn it any color you like. Or chevron. Or striped. Or polka dotted. (Here’s a whole mess of Panyl projects for inspiration.) Just for being a Brokelyn subscriber, you can win $50 worth of Panyl to help make your dresser look Odda dis world. Plus Brokelyn readers get a 10 percent discount all month long by entering Brokelyn at checkout. (more…)

05/12/14 11:00am
Put down that sledgehammer and try these upgrades instead.

Put down that sledgehammer and try these upgrades instead.

Moving into a new place is exciting. There’s a new location, new view, and new take-out restaurants for you to order from. But it can also be disheartening. I mean, I’ve wanted to hang up my Casablanca poster in every apartment I’ve moved into, but had to resort to taping it up (out of frame) so I wouldn’t get charged for the holes in the wall. I’ve also learned to buy dark, heavy furniture to give the room some personality to the white walls on white carpet. So while I have lots of ideas on how to spruce up  boring spaces, most leases put severe kink in those plans. Here are four tactics I’ve used that allow you to make your apartment shine, without worrying that your security deposit money will shrivel up: (more…)

02/14/14 1:51pm
Man, she did not like that valentine.

Man, she did not like that valentine.

As we learned yesterday, relationships crash and burn more often than they work out. If you’re currently unsatisfied and thinking of making a change in your life, you should at least be able to enjoy yourself after ending it with your formerly loved one. Or at least make it memorable for the both of you. And since we’re always here to serve, we’ve rounded up some of the best places for you to end your relationship. Happy Valentine’s Day! (more…)

07/10/13 4:20pm
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Avoid surreptitiously putting your unwrapped mattress far from your apartment thanks to IKEA. via Flickr user splorp

New mattress: a wonderful thing! With the only downside being that you need to do something with the old mattress. You could try giving it away on Craigslist, except people are getting wise to getting a mattress that way not being a great idea. If you don’t want to wrap it and drag it down the stairs yourself, good news: Ikea will take your mattress for you if you buy a new one from them. (more…)

05/30/13 2:00pm
Fun fact: cooked by the Swedish Chef. via Ikea

Fun fact: cooked by the Swedish Chef. via Ikea

How do you say “date night” in Swedish? “Datum natt.” And now that you know that, you can ask your boo if you she wants to have a datum natt at Ikea’s pretty fantastic looking buffet on June 14 at 6:30pm. Of course, if she does want to go, hope you guys like fish. Because there’s a whole lot of that. (more…)

04/02/13 1:38pm
Maybe give some to Occupy Sandy. via Facebook

Maybe give some to Occupy Sandy. via Facebook

So we’ve already got one way to argue over how to spend gobs of money, at least if you live in Brad Lander’s district and want to be part of his participatory budget-palooza. If you don’t live in Lander’s district, don’t get bummed out about not being able to spend huge amounts of money, because you’ve got two more chances in front of you. One, involves how Ikea should help Red Hook, and and the other is the big kahuna: how do we spend the money the federal government gave us after we clawed it out of their horrible hands. (more…)

03/19/13 9:20am
Although, we guess you can hang out at the bar while the person shops for you. via Flickr user Urban_Lisa

Although, we guess you can hang out at the bar while the person shops for you. via Flickr user Urban_Lisa

So we’ve previously covered how much it costs you to to shlep all your crap home from Ikea (both a useful guide AND a window into Tim’s hairstyle at the time). But we’ve also gotten sage relationship advice from cupcake genius Allison Robicelli that included a whole paragraph on not going to Ikea. Fortunately for you, Ikea has a way to avoid both the shlepping and the fighting, and still get your stuff, but of course, it’ll cost you. For $99, you can give them a list of all the stuff you want, and they’ll both buy it for you and deliver it to you. So, the question is, is the Picking with Delivery service worth it? (more…)

02/25/13 11:21am
A horse is a horse of course of course, unless it's a meatball

A horse is a horse of course of course, unless it’s a meatball

IKEA’s great for lots of things, like outfitting your room with duct-taped MALM dressers that fall apart as soon as a subway train rumbles under your building, or finding a Zooey Deschanel/Joseph Gordon-Levitt lookalike and re-enacting that scene from 500 Days of Summer. One of IKEA’s worst-kept, best secrets, though, is the retailer’s super cheap food, like dollar soft-serve ice cream and sweet, saucy frozen Swedish meatballs. But while we assumed the worst thing about those meatballs was our tendency to eat a whole bag in one sitting, we might have been wrong, because traces of horse meat were reportedly found in them in the Czech Republic. NO, BLACK BEAUTY, NO!!! (more…)

01/07/13 1:00pm
What else is there to say? Photo by Brooklyn Brewery.

What else is there to say? Photo by Brooklyn Brewery.

There’s not much crossflow in cultural knowledge between Brooklyn and Sweden. Thanks to them, we’ve got Vikings, Swedish Fish candies, meatballs, Ikea (obviously), and this one songwriting competition about the G train whose winner was sent to Sweden. It’s not a very extensive list, but now we have a big bragging right that we can tag onto it: the building of a Brooklyn Brewery in Stockholm. Hopefully they don’t take our champion, The Defender, with them. (more…)