11/07/16 3:48pm
This actually happened by accident.

This actually happened by accident. Edited by Sam Corbin

Voting at the polls tomorrow isn’t the only way to show you’re #withHer. You can also dress the part by donning Hillary’s signature outfit, a two-piece pantsuit. And if you do, trust us, you won’t be the only one: A (not so) secret pro-Hillary Facebook group called Pantsuit Nation popped up last week with just a one-line description that reads, “Wear a pantsuit on November 8. You know why.”

The group has 110 admins and is quickly approaching the 2 million member mark, with new members being added every second. They’ve also created a website, built a Twitter following… they even managed to get professional photographers to offer free photo sessions sporting a pantsuit tomorrow.

All this evidence points to one simple truth: You need to get yourself in a pantsuit. But where? (more…)

11/04/16 10:50am
This is the last time you'll have to make a real phone call ever probably. Via Hillary Clinton's Facebook page.

This is the last time you’ll have to make a real phone call ever probably. Via Hillary Clinton’s Facebook page.

Before we nervously drink ourselves to literal death on Tuesday night, there is still, somehow, one more weekend of this interminable election campaign to endure. And sure, it may turn out we’ve been dead this whole time are actually have been trapped in a Shining-style campaign photo for 100 years, but until then you do still have a chance to help bring this thing home for Hillary and make sure Trump doesn’t go all Redrum over our entire country.

Here’s the last batch of GOTV and phone banking efforts you can take part in here in NYC this weekend, including some celeb-studded events (if you consider Jack Antonoff a celeb, at least) and ways to help without leaving the house.  (more…)

11/03/16 3:42pm
Here are all the cheap BK election night parties where you can drink until you die

It’s an election pile-on! via Dardy Bar’s instagram

Finally. FINALLY. After two years of political campaigns from dozens of candidates, followed by the world’s most grueling overtime face-off between semifinalists 4 prez Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, the general election comes to its much-awaited end this Tuesday, November 8.

It’s sure to be a night to remember— which is exactly why you shouldn’t have to. If anything, this is our last chance to drink ourselves into a blissful Obama-livion before “the next four years” with a certain someone begin. We’ve rounded up all the cheap election night parties in Brooklyn, since you’re going to need more than one drink. We’ll keep adding to this list as more come up, so stay tuned if you don’t see one you like just yet. Though as far as we’re concerned, just about anything beats dealing with the nail-biting anxiety of the vote count alone. (more…)

10/20/16 11:18am

hillary clinton benghazi brush your shoulders off brush yo shoulders off brushes shouldersMercifully, the final presidential debate is over but cruelly, there are still 19 days left until the actual election because it turns out there’s no mercy rule in politics so they can’t call this thing early and let everyone vote now. The problem with Trump’s likely defeat at this point is how much carnage he’s willing to create on his way to the loser’s circle, how many mangled carcasses of decency and American political decorum he’s willing to leave by the roadside in his kamikaze last few days.

Election burnout is real; we have in some sense been in this campaign since for a staggering 14 months already, as the first Republican primary was held in August of 2015, if you can even remember a time that far back. That’s not even factoring in the actual physical and mental stress this election is creating, with therapists reporting a spike in Trump-related anxiety and survivors of sexual assault being forced to relive their own trauma over and over again just by watching the news. I have seen several female friends, more than half seriously, ask whether you can sue a presidential candidate for emotional distress.

You deserve a day off, we all deserve a day to breathe after this election and remind ourselves there is a real world outside of politics and tweets and just batshit weird tweets about politics. So let’s dub Nov. 9 a new Adult Skip Day and give ourselves a break; you’re probably not taking enough vacation days anyway.  (more…)

10/14/16 11:59am
Ride the party bus for Hillary Clinton.

Ride the party bus for Hillary Clinton.

Election activism comes in all forms, and once you register to vote (today’s the last day!), it’s the best thing you can do to stay involved until that fateful polling day arrives. Maybe phone banking is your thing, or you do door-to-door canvassing in your own neighborhood. Those are both great!

But if you haven’t found your “thing” yet or you’re too broke to take time out of your work schedule for the above, then consider this neat weekend opportunity to help Hillary Clinton that comes with lots and lots of freebies. Pennsylvania’s Working America, in league with local workers’ unions and radio stations, has partnered up with The New York State Assembly to offer FREE bus rides from New York City to Philadelphia every weekend from now until election day. Bonus: two free meals included.

Along with members of the PA labor unions and other community groups, you and your fellow blue NYC voters will get to spend a Saturday knocking on doors in the working-class neighborhood of Germantown, Philadelphia to help Hillary Clinton defeat Donald Trump in the coming election, “so as to send a message that candidates like him have no place on the political stage, unless it’s for comedy.” (more…)

10/03/16 10:24am

Everyone’s dealing with their rising election panic differently today. Some of us are sending dick lollipops to Donald Trump; some of us are phone banking for Hillary; and some of us are trolling New York City with prank election announcements to gauge just how ready America is for the possibility of a Trump presidency.

Brokelyn’s favorite Nathan for You-style prankster, Tyler Fischer — last seen posing as a couples’ therapist in IKEA took to the streets yesterday posing as a BBC reporter. He chose various public places to host a fake newscast, reporting loudly to a fake cameraman that Hillary Clinton had dropped out of the presidential race. (more…)

09/28/16 2:00pm
Deliver us from evil — via Seamless

Deliver us from evil — via Seamless

Step aside, Nate Silver! There’s a new authority on presidential polls in town: Seamless.

The food delivery giant ran its own poll during the presidential debate Monday night to see whether lazy, hungry millenials prefer Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump. Or, at least, to see whose supporters were lazier, hungrier and more likely to order Seamless on a Monday night.

Customers were given a discount on the night of the debate using competing coupon codes “IMWITHHER” and “IMWITHHIM,” and it should be no great surprise which code was more popular in New York, at least amongst people who understand how to order food on the Internet. And who better to predict the future of our country than the No. 1 service of New York’s softest millennials?

It looks like Trump was right to fear “cyber,” evidently, as Seamless’ poll results were a landslide for Hillary, to the tune of 82% to 18%. Looks like those 400 lb. hackers are ordering in with a vengeance. (more…)

09/26/16 2:41pm
Get yours before they're all sold out

Get yours before they’re all sold out. via Ample Hills / IG

If a drinking game wasn’t enough to sate your taste buds for the presidential debates tonight, then this is a sher-bet: Ample Hills just released two presidential ice cream flavors, Food & Wine reports: The “Madam President,” after Hillary Clinton, and the “Make America Orange Again,” after Donald Trump.

The Hillary flavor is spicy chocolate, and Trump’s is orange-marshmallow. Unsurprisingly, the second one sounds like a pretty disgusting combination. (more…)

05/16/16 2:15pm
I'm with her now, I guess: How Bernie fans can learn to love Hillary Clinton

No need to waste paper on new posters. Sam Weiss/Brokelyn

Well Bernie Bros and Girls, I’m as sorry as anyone to say that the guy is just about finished. I know, I know, maybe he’ll pull some superdelegate rabbits out of a hat, maybe he’ll win some more states. And if nothing else, at least we can say he really rocked the Brooklyn vote. But generally, we all share a sense of where this thing is going. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you were championing a Sanders presidency! Remember when everyone thought he was just a crazy socialist with no chance? And then he won a massive amount of votes? You did that, probably.

But now, you’re in a tough spot. You’ve been railing against Hillary Clinton for months in order to kindle the Bern-ing fire. Now that Donald Trump might actually become our next president — it’s not a joke anymore, this guy really is the presumptive candidate — you’re going to have to come to terms with Hillary. Sure, you didn’t want to vote for Hillary, but just think of it as voting against Trump.

To help you cope, however, we’ve put together a guide for moving on and learning to accept Hillary for the smart and highly-equipped presidential candidate she is. Our handy how-to includes tips on breaking the news to your Facebook feed, repurposing your campaign merchandise, and we even made some brand new banners you can post on social media.  (more…)