08/28/14 9:38am
the weather man

Hey, it worked for this guy.

Hey, have you heard? New York City is dangerous again, and that means you need some protection. No sense in trying for a gun though, those are way too difficult to get around here, at least legally. So while you could go find some back alley in which to buy yourself a snub nose .38, allow us to suggest a different path: a good old fashioned bow and arrow. You might not know how to use one now, but there’s a Groupon out there for lessons right here in Brooklyn for half of what it usually will run you. (more…)

06/09/14 8:44am
new york mets groupon

Johan Santana celebrating how cheap a Mets game is these days. via Facebook

Even for what was supposed to be a transition year, just about everything has managed to go wrong for the 2014 Mets. Their free agent outfielders have stunk, they had no closer for weeks, their catcher of the future just got sent to the minors and Citi Field is still in their heads, making them one of the worst home teams in baseball. That last one especially makes the latest $9 Groupon for Mets tickets less of a bargain and more of the actual price you should be paying to see the Mets play baseball right now. (more…)

04/15/14 4:21pm
tattoo removal

This will never wind up being a mistake!

Say, like New York Times executive editor Jill Ambramson or certain employees of Brokelyn LLC, you once went out and got a tattoo of the place that you work for. But then you end up getting fired in disgrace and you’re stuck with the tattoo forever, like certain employees of Brokelyn LLC constantly fear. What do you do? You get this Groupon for tattoo removal and fix your terrible mistake. We can’t help you with the rest of the ways you’ve screwed your life up, but we can at least help with this. (more…)

04/11/14 1:14pm
nyc sword classes

They’ll never see it coming!

Despite the fact that New York City is historically safe, it doesn’t mean that there’s no danger around here. Someone might follow you home and punch you in the back of the head for no reason. Or you might get shaken down for just five dollars. Given all the danger around here, and New York’s strict gun control laws, you need to find a different way to protect yourself. Hey, how about swords? Don’t know how to use one? Now you can learn on the cheap, thanks to a Groupon for three samurai sword classes at Sword Class NYC for just $30. (more…)

cyclone coney island

Wheeeee! via Facebook

Now that Bobby Parnell is probably gonna need Tommy John surgery, we can dispense with the hope of baseball season and move right into pining for summer. First order of business in planning your sweat-soaked adventures? Picking up an unlimited rides/Cyclone Groupon so that you can spend a whole day in Coney Island in a romantic haze, just like Beyonce! (more…)

03/21/14 2:59pm
juan lagares

Brokelyn dot com is your home of the official Brooklyn Blogger Juan Lagares Fan Club

It’s spring according to the calendar and it feels like spring, so who freaking cares it’s supposed to snow next week. Ignore that! Instead, focus on things like baseball and how wonderful it is, and how every season, every team (except maybe the Astros) starts with the earnest hope that this will be their year. Yes, even the Mets. If you missed out on the $5 Mets tickets last month, good news: Mets tickets through Groupon have hit the market and start as low as $9. (more…)

02/12/14 10:00am
vapcase vaporizer

For the iPhone owner who’s too busy to reach into his pocket twice!

If there’s two things in this world that are hot, red hot, magma hot, they’re iPhones and vaporizers. People everywhere are still getting robbed for their iPhones, and the captains of industry are getting all potted up on weed with vaporizers. Some enterprising genius combined these two thing into the VapeCase you see above. So if you want a free hand after sending a text message, but still want to hold your phone but also get high, your day has finally arrived! And with a Groupon, it’s arrived even cheaper than usual. (more…)

12/27/13 3:12pm
modern pinball

You don’t need dad jeans to be awesome at pinball…but it helps. via Facebook

Does your New Year’s resolution involve getting more bumpers and flashing lights and pinball into your life in 2014? How oddly specific. Still, if it is, we’ve got a great deal for you: a new Groupon that will slash the price of a day pass at Modern Pinball (362 3rd Avenue), NYC’s awesome pinball showroom, from $20 to just $10. That means $10 for unlimited pinball the whole day. If you tell us you’ve got a better all-day activity than pinball, we just don’t believe you. (more…)

12/17/13 9:59am
glyde condoms

And we’re glad glad glad that you use Glyde

Vegans! Those guys have all the luck, what with their “feckless Brooklyn guy” shtick being so popular with the ladies, and their excuse about not using condoms (“Oh it was made with animal cruelty) being impossible to argue with. But girls, next time some V-neck clad lothario who’s not down with the pork tries to pull a fast one on you, you’ll be prepared. with Glyde’s vegan-friendly condoms, thanks to this Groupon. Because he should be wrapped up in more than your love. (more…)

12/11/13 10:19am
pat kiernan mccarren ice rink

Be just like Canadian hero Pat Kiernan and get on some skates at McCarren! Photo by Camille Lawhead

In case the snow, or the freezing temperatures or your roommates’ anger at you for not turning the heat on weren’t any indication, let us remind you that it’s winter. So given that it’s winter, it’s time to go ice skating, and lucky for us, Brooklyn has a brand new ice skating rink to take advantage of. Of course, it also costs money, which is a problem, but a Groupon can at least solve part of that problem, cutting the cost of skating there in half. So what are you waiting for? (more…)