Cake Hero’s cakes with personality will be at the market this weekend. via Facebook

When it comes to giving a Valentine’s Day gift, you really don’t want to screw it up. Unlike a birthday or Christmas, this isn’t the time for some grown up version of a crappy macaroni-art picture. We’ve already got you covered on sweet dates you can go on, and our pals at Greenpointers have got you covered on what to buy for your date at their “Message in a Bottle” Valentine’s Day market this weekend. (more…)

What can we say, people love ginger whiskey. via Facebook

1. Start the weekend off with the right kind of decadence: a champagne tasting (Friday)

2. Take solace in your loneliness with stories about other people’s terrible dates, at the Ex-Files (Friday)

3. A candy-themed party promising sensory seduction. On a Friday night. The week before Valentine’s Day. Don’t forget the birth control, kids! (Friday)

4. Crazy $ince Da 90$ is a dance party open to everyone, even if you’ve been unbalanced since the early 80s (Friday) (more…)

Hopefully yours is made with something more effective than “love.” Like tequila. via flickr user dasweetzpot

Even if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t like Valentine’s Day all that much, you may be a person who makes and sells their own crafts. In that case, you’re in a bit of awkward position, since V-Day is an obvious time to boost sales and make a little extra dough. Plus, when it comes down to it, would you rather someone buy their loved one knock-off Ed Hardy cologne for Valentine’s Day or something nice from you? So our buds at Greenpointers are having a Valentine’s market and are looking for people to fill the space. Could be you. (more…)

Hey, our friends (and all around good folk) at Greenpointers are having a birthday party on Friday! The party includes $2 beers and cake from Ovenly at The Diamond, Franklin Ave.’s excellent beer bar with shuffleboard, boiled peanuts and a backyard gondola. Get all the details here!

Hokey religions for a good blaster at your side, kid. Via Greenpointers.

Our friends at Greenpointers spotted this flyer announcing that Greenpoint’s The Episcopal Church of the Ascension is starting a series of “Our Faith and The Force” discussions Sept. 26 showing where the teachings of that crazy hippie Jesus Christ match up with the artistry and film magic of that crazy hippie George Lucas in Star Wars. Unfortunately, the flyer says the series will only focus on the three prequels (Phantom Menace, etc.), which sadly long ago proved there was no god. More at Greenpointers.

Pet photos by Nicholas Maloof.

All of about 20 minutes spent in a Park Slope bar during happy hour yesterday confirms: dogs are way more fun to hang around with than babies. The same goes for your pictures: more puppies, less little poopers, please, because, let’s be honest, all babies pretty much look the same (is that racist?). This Sunday, the good folks at Greenpointers and the McGorlick Park Farmers Market are teaming up to offer free pet portraits for the day. You can bring your dog, cat, trantula, hamster or anything that you can safely leash. (more…)

FRIDAY
7pm: bring your written break-up stories to read aloud at word’s v-day edition of ‘just working on my novel‘ (10-minute time limit), free.

8pm: is it hot in peru, or is it just us? alistair r. noble of the hollow earth society lectures on the phallic stone monuments recently discovered near — wait for it — lake titicaca. observatory, $5.  (more…)

The Brooklyn Lyceum holiday market/Photo by Flickr's groundsel

As if Amazon’s anti-small-business tactics weren’t enough to convince you, here are more than a dozen reasons to ignore e-tailer spam and shop locally in Brooklyn. This year, holiday markets are popping up around Brooklyn like Swedish espresso shops, with added inducements like concerts, performances and booze. At Dekalb market, Santa’s even posing for photos in a shipping container. Beat that, internetz. Markets are free unless otherwise noted. (more…)

Instead of yelling at 2 Broke Girls for blowing their hard-earned startup cash on a revenge fantasy, you could be doing something to share your own crafty skills. Our friends at Greenpointers are looking for vendors to help fill up their annual holiday market: arty, foody, gifty, crafty or otherwise homemade goods are wanted for the Dec. 17 market at Lutheran Church of the Messiah at 129 Russell St. You can get one 8-foot table for $50 or two for $30; and one 6-foot table for $40 or two for $25. Email greenpointers (at) gmail.com to reserve.