05/12/16 3:00pm

The G train is the skinny jeans of the subway system, the artisanal mayonnaise store of public transit, in that it’s the butt of easy Brooklyn jokes, all the good ones of which have been made about eight years ago. Two videos about the G appeared in our inboxes today: The above is a faux-History Channel documentary take on the mysterious G train. “In the history of railroad travel, there is no train more elusive than the G,” the video goes before cutting to person-on-the-street interviews with people making the sort of comments about the G train that they make about a sasquatch. The video is cute and funny enough, as is this other one featuring Brokelyn faves Jo Firestone and Tyler Fischer on a date, which ends abruptly when Tyler realizes Jo lives off the G.

But the time of making fun of the G train needs to come to an end. It’s never been as bad as you thought, it’s not leaving you like the L train is and, unlike your job, it doesn’t force you to go into Manhattan, ever. Let’s celebrate the G train, the tortoise of the subway system: She’s the Gowanus Canal of trains, the pre-2015 Mets of the underground. She might not look like much, but there’s a lot of sturdy potential there to appreciate. (more…)

07/06/15 1:23pm
Missing the grill to pull off your gangster grill look? Well someone has found those for you. Screenshot via YouTube

Missing the grill to pull off your gangster grill look? Well someone has found those for you. Screenshot via YouTube

Have you noticed that your mouth has been non-disco ball like lately? Is the temperature of your mouth much higher now that the ice keeping your breath cool has gone missing? Well, lucky for you aspiring rapper and/or jewelry maker, a good Samaritan has not only found your grillz, but has put up flyers all over the Bedford-Nostrand G train stop in the hopes of returning them to you. According to DNAinfo, the flyers have been  up since June 30th, with the finder of the grillz leaving an e-mail address (Grillzfinder [AT] gmail.com) so you can become reunited with your jewelry and once again “have more ice than Michelle Kwan.” (more…)

09/04/14 12:26pm
g train


Are we glad the G train is back in action? Yes, probably, unless you’re one of those shortsighted fools who thinks that the shuttle bus service was “better” without realizing that it’s much easier to just line up a bunch of shuttle buses than it is to run trains on time. ANYWAY, don’t get used to the G being totally normal, because starting September 8 and going until September 12, G trains are on the FASTRACK and won’t run between Bedford-Nostrand and Church Avenue between 10pm and 5am. We assume this is just a game to the MTA at this point. (more…)

07/17/14 4:18pm
greenpoint ferry

Won’t this be a welcome sight in Greenpoint. via Facebook

Hey, remember that whole looming G train shutdown that Greenpoint residents have been staring down the barrel of since the start of the summer? It’s almost here, which combined with the collapsed dock for the Greenpoint stop on the East River Ferry was gonna mean chaos reigns in Greenpoint. Looks like that fate is about to be averted though, because DNA Info reports that the dock  should be up and running by next Friday, before the shutdown starts next Saturday. (more…)

06/03/14 1:13pm

The above video from Audrey Stanfield is a comedy skit/music video set to Enya (!) Enigma called “New Yorkers Barely Missing the G Train,” and we have to say that it captures the feeling of anger and helplessness for anyone who’s ever just missed one. With any luck though, it winds up being a nice time capsule, since the G train is supposed to be getting the money to run more than once per hour. Although if you’re on your way to propose to someone, you should definitely leave with enough time to miss at least two G train, never mind one. (more…)

05/14/14 2:19pm
g train

Temporarily less miserable while it’s miserable

As you know, getting from Brooklyn to Queens without having to go into Manhattan is going to be a pain in the ass this summer, what with the G train tunnel shutdown. At least this time we can blame Sandy, as opposed to some secret initiative to force Brooklyners to go to the struggling borough of Manhattan. To make life a little bit easier though, the MTA has agreed to allow free walking transfers from the Broadway G stop to the Lorimer J stop just overhead, in the five weeks in the tunnel to Queens is shut down. Which is good news. The bad news is that the transfer only exists for the five weeks between July and September. (more…)

05/09/14 1:04pm
f train

Or IS it??? via Flickr user gtasandman

Everyone loves to bitch about the G train, but the thing is, for a limited line that doesn’t get much help from the MTA, it probably does about the best that it can. On the other hand, the F train’s weaknesses can be found on an almost daily basis now, from the recent derailing that fortunately didn’t kill anyone to the new Straphangers Campaign report that showed it was the most decrepit broken line of all our decrepit broken subway lines. And now the F train can’t even stay on the right damn track, with one this morning just up and changing to the G train without telling anyone. (more…)

04/17/14 2:57pm
g train touch screen kiosk

At least you’ll have something to play around with while you wait. Photo by David Colon

The G isn’t exactly a line one that’s known for technological innovation, unless you count “waiting for so long it feel like you’ve gone back in time” as a form of time travel. Which maybe you do. But over the weekend, we noticed what looks like a promising upgrade for the G. Not more than four cars per train, but one of those fancy touchscreen kiosks that give you directions and real time-information on train delays. Well look who’s fancy now. (more…)

04/07/14 4:13pm
Yeah, just keep running, it's healthy. Photo by mili005 on Instagram.

Yeah, just keep running, it’s healthy. Photo by mili005 on Instagram.

As we know, there was a meeting last week that allowed people to finally yell at their elected officials/the MTA about the G train. Sure it was supposed to be about the looming summer shutdown between Brooklyn and Queens, but people can live with that. What they wanted to know was why the MTA insists that the G train still can’t have more than four cars at a time. According to the MTA, it’s because things are fine like that and everyone loves it. (more…)

03/13/14 12:56pm
sasheer zamata girls tour

Sasheer Zamata, the only human ever pictured smiling near the G train

Now that we’ve thankfully escaped one last snowstorm and we know that Fort Tilden will be open, everyone is making plans for summer. Although if you’re the type who needs to take the G train from Greenpoint to Queens, you’re making plans to wait around for a shuttle bus, because that promised five week shutdown is happening between July 26  and September 1. If you’re frustrated, the good news, according to Greenpointers, is that you’ll have a chance to shout at your elected officials about it in a few weeks, at a public meeting on the summer shutdown taking place April 3 at 6pm. (more…)