I scream, you scream, we all scream for zines. But hopefully you don’t eat them after you get them

1. Insane movie number one: The Story of Ricky, which features someone exploding a person’s head with their bare hands (Friday)

2. Insane movie number two: The Demon Lover, the story of when your occult party stops being polite and starts getting real and a demon starts murdering people (Friday)

3. Need 4/20 plans that don’t involve frisbee golf? We’ve got you covered, brah (Saturday) (more…)

The international sign for “Free booze here.” For this weekend, anyway

Weekends are great of course, even if you spend them worrying about the things you didn’t do in the preceding week. You can go have brunch, you can work on the thing you’re most passionate about or you can spend the entirety of it in a buzzed haze. Of course, that last one usually takes money. Usually. Sometimes business are kind enough to just give you booze for walking in the door. Like this weekend, at Whisk, for instance. (more…)

Maybe choose your glasses before you drink the beer. (via Facebook)

Health insurance or no health insurance, going to the doctor is never fun. And with all the weird pupil-poking devices, burning lights and the shame of not being able to read anything on the eye chart under that giant E, a visit to the eye doctor’s office is perhaps the most miserable of all. But a Park Slope optometrist has figured out a way to lessen all that ophthalmoscopic awfulness; he’s giving out FREE BOOZE to patients before visits. (more…)

Beer gut, or gut full of beer?

We’re a little abashed that Jezebel scooped us on the very Brokelyn topic of how to smuggle booze into outdoor concerts. But we also thank them for leaving lots of room for brokester-improved tips. Of course, the city is intent on being a severe buzz kill and “alcohol is prohibited for all special events held in parklands. Alcohol is prohibited at parades. Alcohol is prohibited at block parties, special events and street festivals.” [NY Post] You’ll get a fine and a summons if you get caught.

That said, if there’s one good thing about being broke it’s that it inspires creativity. With the Northside Festival starting this weekend including outdoor shows in McCarren Park, 90s revival concert series in Williamsburg Park, outdoor films, outdoor films, outdoor films, and Celebrate Brooklyn events in Prospect and Brooklyn Bridge Parks, we polled Brokeland and discovered various techniques for smuggling party favors into outdoor entertainment venues. (more…)

"Open bar dude!"

We’ve got you covered with our post on all the free shows during this week’s CMJ music marathon. The good folks at Big Ass Lens provide you with the perfect compendium: a guide to all the free booze you can get all week long! They’ve arranged it in a handy Google Calendar, color-coded by the kind of booze, with the promise to send you updates if you subscribe via spacePhone. To quote BAL: “Most of these presenters are well aware of how average their particular bands are. They know the deal. How to convince someone to see a crappy band? Same way most of us get laid — alcohol!”

FreeWilliamsburg’s CMJ showcase today is just 58 cents per band! [FreeWilliamsburg]
Lists of all open bars and booze specials every day of the fest [Booze Party]
The ultimate guide to ultimate CMJ guides [Paste]
Give your opinion on Prospect Park W bike lanes; protests planned Thursday [OTBKB]
VV’s Best of NY lauds Sunday Best, Marty Markowitz, Word and more [Village Voice]
Michelle Obama honors Heart of Brooklyn at White House today [Heart of Brooklyn]
Win a 2-hour bowling concert party at Brooklyn Bowl [ScoutMob]
Call Linus: The largest pumpkin ever seen is coming to NY on Friday [CityRoom]

Happy birthday to us! Can you believe it’s already been a year of Brokelyn? In just 12 months, we stalked Martha Stewart, told you how to sell your [redacted] online, couch-surfed, Dumpster swam, Crockpot gourmeted, price checked, deal-scouted, taste-tested, happy houred, flirted with aluminum poisoning from cheap beer tastings and much, much more. We also brought you the Brokelyn Beer Book and some great t-shirts in the process. We’re just getting started, but all this means only one thing… PARTY TIME (excellent)! (more…)