09/15/14 10:19am

Don’t walk around like you own the place…unless you’re Charles Bronson. via Flickr user aliabdallah

So you’ve just invested in your million-dollar Bed-Stuy dream townhouse. Wait, sorry, let’s try that again, in a more realistic way. So you and your 2 roommates just signed a lease for a $3200 2-bedroom in Bed-Stuy or Bushwick, and you’re excited about your cool new neighborhood and its uh…bright future. That is until you read the Post this morning and found out that despite what that friendly real estate agent told you, crime still exists in Bed-Stuy and Bushwick. “But they told me all the crime was gone!” you say to no one in particular in your suddenly unsafe apartment, as you prepare to become just another statistic. (more…)

07/17/14 1:38pm
citi bike

They’ve been going for one way rides. Photo by Mary Dorn

Even though it’s just a year old, New Yorkers are still pretty excited about Citi Bike obviously. Not only are people riding the bikes to within the (limited) system of docking stations, residents of neighborhoods like Crown Heights, Brownsville and East New York are riding the bike share bikes there on one-way trips. Sure, you might be (and police definitely are) looking at this as stealing public property from a financially imperiled transportation system. We prefer to look on the bright side: Everyone wants Citi Bikes! (more…)

07/08/14 3:05pm
rockaway beach

Total freaking anarchy. via Flickr user Shannon

Maybe it’s just because I grew up in a beach town, but if there’s one thing I don’t usually equate lifeguards with, it’s “sobriety and temperance.” Apparently New York City demands better of its Fun Police though, because it’s some kind of scandal that six Rockaway lifeguards got caught smoking weed on a rainy Fourth of July. We thought you were cool, de Blasio. (more…)

06/23/14 1:33pm
subway crime

Trainjackings are much less likely to occur in New York these days, according to the numbers anyway.

Given that they’re isolated, often underground caverns full of garbage and rats, people might be under the impression that subway platforms are a place for crime. Turns out we should put those Warriors-era fears to bed though, because a the Daily News looked at data covering subway crime from 2008 to 2013 and it turns out that unless someone beats you up or robs you at the Broad Channel A station, there hasn’t been a ton of subway crime over the last five years. (more…)

molotov cocktail bodega

Good fucking god

When you get into an argument with someone, the best thing to do is let cooler heads prevail and just walk away. The best worst decision you can make is to fight someone, but using your fists, not a weapon. Some psychopath in Borough Park decided skip straight to the “deadly weapon” escalation, and after an argument with a bodega employee, threw a Molotov cocktail into the bodega. (more…)

04/03/14 9:55am
f train

F, for “Fuck I can’t believe I got my identity stolen on this fucking train.” via Flickr user Brian

We’ve all fallen asleep on the train, either from being exhausted from work or from being drunk*. That being said, we’ve usually been sure not to have pretty much every piece of identification establishing who we are on our person at the time we fell asleep. One unfortunate person from Massachusetts fell asleep on the F train recently, and woke up without his birth certificate, Social Security card, passport and basically every other piece of government ID he had. Maybe the thief is preparing him for some version of The Game? (more…)

03/03/14 9:38am
cotton candy machine gallery

Come on, these can’t be easy to hide. via Facebook

Brooklyn’s art world has been hotter than hot the past two decades, but the one thing it’s been missing is a comical, slapstick art heist. But now we’ve got one, with an almost improbable tale of thievery involving art thieves nabbing enormous paintings of Nelson Mandela, Jean-Michael Basquiat and Snoop Lion from Williamsburg art gallery Cotton Candy Machine. A suspect in possession of the  5′ Basquiat painting has already been apprehended (finally get to write that phrase!), but the Snoop Lion and the Nelson Mandela paintings are still missing. (more…)

01/31/14 10:36am
Well, not like this. That we know of anyway.

Well, not like this. That we know of anyway.

Public libraries are a precious resource, spreading the joy of reading to people no matter what their socioeconomic status, and doing it without resorting to trickery and tomfoolery. At least that’s why we like them. A new Daily News story shows that other people might like them because they’re easy to steal from, as Brooklynites stole 70,144 books from the Brooklyn Public Library system in 2012. This sounds like a much bigger deal than jaywalking, so we hope you’re listening Mayor de Blasio. (more…)

01/20/14 12:45pm
heavy woods

If only someone had been there to shake the crime stick at them.

Hey there foppish 20somethings of Bushwick, in your darkened bars lit only by hanging Edison bulbs: do you know what’s lurking around those trendy bars you love? CRIME. Yes, despite the Twelve Years of Bloomberg ushering in an era where even thinking about committing crimes (except white collar ones…) seemed to get you a police response, you’d think there was no more of it in Brooklyn. But think again loser, because investigative journalist Conor Woodman went to a bar in Bushwick and he found crime. Well, a pickpocketing staged for TV cameras. But, crime! Those terrified Super Bowl visitors were right all along. (more…)

12/30/13 10:26am
the warriors

Your typical New York City resident, in the eyes of a potential Super Bowl visitor

As we all know, Mayor Bloomberg has been going around on a victory lap in his last days, touting his achievements on keeping New York City’s crime rate low. It sounded silly at first, but maybe we really does need to get the word out, because a poll of potential Super Bowl visitors found that their biggest fear was violent crime. Even weirder, a quarter of them said they wouldn’t feel safe on public transportation. This 80s nostalgia is taking a real weird turn, you guys. (more…)