This isn’t your mother’s grand piano. via Craigslist
Holiday party season is upon us. Between Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and all those Jewish ones, competition runs especially high for house parties this time of year. So if you’re planning on entertaining guests in your derelict Brooklyn abode this holiday season then you’d better be making it look classy as all fuck.
Don’t know where to look for that next-level party decor? Here’s a start: someone in Williamsburg is giving away a grand piano that’s been gutted and refinished to hold beer. (more…)
Maybe you’re about to dump someone but it’s their birthday and you feel bad. So you, a true gentlebro for the ages, decide to buy her a Vitamix blender — and what a nice blender it is! — as a parting gift. This is a terrible idea, as evidenced in this Craigslist ad a Brooklyn woman posted a few days ago, in which she absolutely frappes, shreds, purees and ice crushes the corporate lawyer who did this to her. It opens with the caveat “never date a corporate lawyer” and goes on to include tidbits like this:
“He clearly wants to break up, but makes you do it. It’s the day after your birthday. A few days later, this Vitamix arrives at your door. Either he wants you back, or he does not understand the human species.” (more…)
This level 15 Pokemon Go master is for hire, and is not messing around. Photo via Craigslist
Pokemon Go-themed bar crawls are popping up all across the city like a sickness, Twitter is inflamed with screenshots of the little virtual buggers, and now poke hustlers have taken to Craigslist, hoping to make a buck from their Pokemon Go related services. Oh Pokemon Go, when will you go away? It’s only Tuesday, and there are already enough fed-up bystanders that someone developed a Chrome extension called Poke Gone to block Pokemon chatter from our feeds.
Here’s what we found offered on Craigslist so far: (more…)
This could be you, but you playing. Image via ABC News
We know that we are, in fact, in the middle of cuffing season, that special time of year where you find a special someone to spend time with you and keep you warm when your heat is off. Some of us don’t always find someone when cuffing season commences, so with the blizzard coming in the next couple of days, it’s brought new life to the online dating scene, especially in Brooklyn. People are pouring their hearts out on Craigslist, trying to find someone who will fulfill their fantasies in person, rather than on the Internet. We found the best (worst?) of them so far, in case you don’t want to wait out the blizzard alone. (more…)
Got a spare backyard for a tiny house. Image via Craigslist
We’ve certainly heard of people asking if anyone has a spare room or couch in Brooklyn. This has to be the first time someone actually wants to bring not only a room, but their entire house with them. Brick Underground found this Craigslist ad from a CUNY PhD student and professor asking for a place to put his “8×26 ft…off the grid” home. He’s open to living in someone’s backyard or driveway, with the added incentive that “it doesn’t look like a trailer.” Someone people can barely live with the roommates who actually live with them, let alone someone who has a small house in their backyard. But, on the bright side, he’s probably less crazy than that guy living in your local dumpster.
Tired of the same old bullshit chairs in your apartment? Looking for something that will be unique AND bring the childhood traumas of your guests up to the surface? Look no farther than Bushwick, where for the price of a truck big enough to transport them, you can have these two electric dental chairs. They’re perfect for reenacting that cinematic classic The Dentist or even its sequel, The Dentist 2. (more…)
Are you ready, kids? Festive, fun and oh-so free. via Craigslist
One of the worst things about adulthood is that nobody lets you onto the bouncy castle anymore. You’re just supposed to be this serious adult who scoffs at the idea of physical leisure and much would rather do taxes. (I actually heard a kid in Chinatown yesterday joking with his friends by yelling, “I’ve gotta go to Chase bank, because that’s where my account is!”) But since someone’s giving away this Spongebob Squarepants bouncy castle on Craigslist, you can finally throw caution and judgment to the wind. Now you can bounce to your heart’s content, under the approving eyes of everyone’s favorite kitchen sponge sea sponge! (more…)
Right? There is, isn’t there? Photo by Flickr user carnagenyc.
Brooklyn may not be where I was born and raised, but eight years, six jobs, five apartments, three ER visits, and one Brooklyn Bridge tattoo later, it’s where I belong. I’ve been in love and had my heart broken here. I’ve trained for a marathon here. I’ve woken up to water bugs crawling out of the drain, dead rodents, and roommates’ random hookups. I’ve made friends, lost friends and attended funerals. I vote here. My nephew was born here. I’ve dipped my toes in the Gowanus, kissed on the Brooklyn Bridge, and volunteered after Hurricane Sandy. Here’s what I’ve learned along the way. (more…)
We don’t need to tell you about how Brooklyn’s real estate market is a nightmare, but if you’d like a refresher course you can learn all about it here, here and here. One way to cut the tension we all feel about oh god where are we going to live is to make some jokes, but one Craigslister has taken it too far by luring desperate apartment seekers with an ad for an $800 bedroom in a new Williamsburg luxury building. If the ad is real, we hope you’re ready to live with someone who describes himself as an “Artist/Entrepreneur/Healer, currently working on my new startup. Cleanliness, Sexiness, Awesomeness, Fitness.” (more…)
America’s next top model? via Flickr user Juan Luis
Do people commonly refer to you by adjectives that pigeonhole your social identity into a poorly-generalized subsection of Brooklyn counterculture? Are you a mustachioed criminal?
If so, these guys, an unnamed men’s apparel startup, are looking for “gents” to stand around “from time to time” and model the company’s clothing. Not just any kind of gents though: “handsome hipster” types, as their Craigslist ad reveals. (more…)