Right? There is, isn’t there? Photo by Flickr user carnagenyc.
Brooklyn may not be where I was born and raised, but eight years, six jobs, five apartments, three ER visits, and one Brooklyn Bridge tattoo later, it’s where I belong. I’ve been in love and had my heart broken here. I’ve trained for a marathon here. I’ve woken up to water bugs crawling out of the drain, dead rodents, and roommates’ random hookups. I’ve made friends, lost friends and attended funerals. I vote here. My nephew was born here. I’ve dipped my toes in the Gowanus, kissed on the Brooklyn Bridge, and volunteered after Hurricane Sandy. Here’s what I’ve learned along the way. (more…)
We don’t need to tell you about how Brooklyn’s real estate market is a nightmare, but if you’d like a refresher course you can learn all about it here, here and here. One way to cut the tension we all feel about oh god where are we going to live is to make some jokes, but one Craigslister has taken it too far by luring desperate apartment seekers with an ad for an $800 bedroom in a new Williamsburg luxury building. If the ad is real, we hope you’re ready to live with someone who describes himself as an “Artist/Entrepreneur/Healer, currently working on my new startup. Cleanliness, Sexiness, Awesomeness, Fitness.” (more…)
America’s next top model? via Flickr user Juan Luis
Do people commonly refer to you by adjectives that pigeonhole your social identity into a poorly-generalized subsection of Brooklyn counterculture? Are you a mustachioed criminal?
If so, these guys, an unnamed men’s apparel startup, are looking for “gents” to stand around “from time to time” and model the company’s clothing. Not just any kind of gents though: “handsome hipster” types, as their Craigslist ad reveals. (more…)
Do you guys remember the halcyon days of the 2012 election? We do, in part because it was so goddamn expensive. Still, if you have any fond memories of those days or you just want to make a quick buck off a political junkie in ten years, you should reach out to this person on Craigslist offering up some eventually vintage election 2012 swag, including a large BIDEN poster. And we know how you love Joe Biden. (more…)
“Yeah, just sit here on this nightmare chair and think about how much fun being at the dentist is.”
No one likes going to the dentist’s office, because even if your dentist is a perfectly nice man or woman, all the sharp tools and the obsession with perfection just makes people think dentists are a hair away from this at best and this at worst. Still, everyone obsessed with vintage stuff, so if you want yet another vintage thing, someone in Bay Ridge is giving away this vintage dentist chair. Just have the guest you like the least sit in it, and while the rest of your friends are having fun being at your apartment, that person will be trying to get comfortable while reliving nightmares of dentist trips past.
When you want to get laid but you don’t really feel like going out, what’s a boy to do? In the case of one enterprising Crown Heights resident, you take Brooklyn’s craze for DIY things in a sexy new direction by cutting a hole in a trash bag, hanging it in a doorway, putting a chair on the other side and then asking people on Craigslist to “come give an anonymous blowjob at my private gloryhole.” The only problem is the law of unintended consequences says that this person is inundated with camera-clutching French tourists looking for a piece of the “the real New York.” Maybe some of them will still blow him though.
You can make sure your kitchen always reminds you of your commute! via Flickr user *Bitch Cakes*
Are you redecorating your apartment? Or holding out the hope that one day you can own a place you can redecorate (more likely)? If you are, you’re probably nonplussed by the tile options you have for your bathroom or kitchen. Any idiot can get tiles from a catalog! You want something different, and if you act fast, you can get this Craiglister’s four or five kitchen drawers full of 1920s subway tiles for free. Let’s see the Joneses keep up with that! (more…)
We’ve all been there: You’ve got a pallet full of something or other that’s been dropped off in front of your apartment, when you suddenly remember that you don’t actually own a pallet jack. Not even a manual one! You could take each individual box off the pallet, but you really want to just get it inside and get it over with. Well, if you were a little smarter, you could have already have gone down to Sunset Park and picked up this free electric pallet jack that needs a good home. (more…)
You can have it all/My empire of stamps. via Flickr user waitscm
You come across the occasional weird thing being given away on Craigslist. Your tank full of bugs, your excess breast milk, a sex swing stand. But ever have we come across something as sad this this listing giving away a dead guy’s stamps,some used and some not used which was apparently part of his last wishes. It’s very sad, but on the other hand, if you have some wedding invitations to send out, you should stop by Fort Greene soon. (more…)
We know, we know: we said not to trust librarians or libraries after the bitter truth about #mellowghazi came out. But maybe you can be a different kind of librarian, a better librarian. You’ve got a perfect opportunity to find out if you can, because someone in Midwood is giving away one thousand (1,000) books this afternoon to whoever shows up and takes them. Time to start thinking of what you’ll call your new spot. Relaxed Leaves, maybe? (more…)