Cuffing season is over. Spring is in the air. Pheromones are fully excreting. Don’t look now, but your libido is showing, and it’s unsettling for the general public. Look, I get it. That liberating feeling of putting on your first “Suns Out Guns Out” tank top of the year makes you want to display all your affection to your new beau all over this gorgeous city we call Brooklyn.
But like, stop. We have unspoken rules, people. Rules that should be cherished. Cradled in your arms like a helpless newborn who’s only path to survival is you. Sounds dire? Because it is.
Jeopardizing yourself and your public hook-up pal will only lead to a “social Darwinism” style exile. No, we won’t make you shuffle on ice to your imminent death. But let’s just say this: middle schoolers will be involved, and they are fucking vicious. So buckle up, read the fine print, and you will be safe. Or don’t, and be sacrificed to a throng of youths. Dealers choice.
Read on and inform yourself on the best places to make out if you want the general public to tangibly hate you.
We salute you with cotton candy, oh wondrous wheel. Photo by @laurenswells
The Spring Equinox has come and past but the world, or at least New York, still feels grey and damp, so here’s a surefire sign that spring weather and good things are coming: Coney Island’s Opening Day is just over a week away (!).
The Happiest Place on Earth (ya, we know that actually refers to Disneyland but, like, Coney is proof that money and sterile fairytales can’t buy you the same quality happiness decaying theme park rides, funnel cake, and drunk boardwalk dancing with topless strangers can) is coming back to life from its winter dormancy on Saturday, April 8 for the start of its official 2017 season. (more…)
Kinky Demure shows off everything that 2016’s got left (#2) (pic by Shane Velazquez)
1. Dance your way into New Year’s weekend at The Interlude, with visiting French DJ Boulaone spinning Congolese-influenced and -inspired rock & roll all night. (Friday, C’mon Everybody, FREE)
2. Cap off this horrible year at Rhinestone Gorilla: Dystopian Holiday, with “brave new acts about our brave new world” from Kinky Demure, Angelique A’LaMode, Bourgie Bourgeois, Faux Prophète, and more. (Friday, Bizarre, $10–$20 suggested)
Make a splash by the boardwalk, like John Ahearn’s sculpture did for Coney Art Walls 2016. via website
Feeling artless these days? You’re not alone — plenty of artists are struggling to pick themselves back up after Trump, Oakland, the tragedy of Aleppo… makes it hard to see why anything is worth anything. But art is important in times like these, and a talented young gun like yourself shouldn’t hold out when opportunities come up to showcase your particular aptitude for creative response.
Lucky for you, opportunity knocks: The NYC Department of Transportation (DOT) has an arts initiative, called DOT Art, that commissions artists to produce “temporary site-responsive art in collaboration with community-based organizations,” and they’re currently seeking proposals for good ol’ Coney Island USA. If selected, your sculpture-to-be will get to sit at W. 10th St and Boardwalk for up to 11 months (through beach season!), and you can get up to $12,000 to fund the project!
The request for proposals is part of DOT Art’s Community Commissions Program, which focuses especially on those spaces that are “in need of beautification.” The stretch of W. 10th St. and Boardwalk certainly falls under that category; it’s right around the corner from the Cyclone, but there isn’t much along that strip of road north of the roller coaster. It’s mostly an area people pass through on their way to Luna Park. Oh ho-ho, but not anymore, because now it’ll feature the anti-Trump statue you’ve been dying to find a home for! Or just something nice that get to walk by. Either way. (more…)
It pains me to say this but the days of many of our nation’s beloved amusement rides are numbered. One way or another, beloved institutions that make up Coney Island and other boardwalks will go away, either due to time, the distractions of Pokemon Go-style games, conversion to condos or the ever-rising sea levels that will soon turn ocean-front property into deep-sea property (but keep arguing about parking spaces, everyone!). With this loss go our memories of youth and first dates and lovably cheesy rides that remind us of a simpler time before paying $20 to see The Smurfs in 3D. We got a taste of this in 2012 when Sandy whacked the boardwalk in Coney Island, damaging many of the rides; at my hometown boardwalk in Seaside Heights, that kooz of as storm sent an entire pier to amusement park heaven.
Among the most endangered of these kinds of attractions are what’s known as “dark rides” like the Spookarama at Deno’s Wonder Wheel Park, those single-cart rides that take you through a haunted house full of ghosts and scares. They’re prime for teenage making out, have been around for 100 years — and they’re disappearing. Only about a dozen of the old-school version are left in the United States, according to one count. Joel Zika, a 36-year-old art and design university professor in Melbourne, Australia, has been fascinated with the dark rides for years, reveling their connection to early horror effects in movies. So he decided to document them in the only way that would truly do them justice: Virtual reality. He’s crowdfunding his project now and planning a trip to Coney in October to record the Spookarama in all its old-timey glory.
“It’s not so much that these are amazing experiences, but that they’re really unique,” Zika told Brokelyn. “All this stuff that’s really immersive, 360-degree experiences, some of them up to 100 years old. That’s fascinating, that’s something that may be more valuable to me than looking at old cinema.” (more…)
Gaten Matarazzo (left) and Caleb McLaughlin of ‘Stranger Things’ snap a selfie with Darren Criss at Coney Island yesterday. Via @therealcalebmclaughlin on Instagram.
The kids from Netflix’s summer hit Stranger Things have done the impossible: they’ve been nearly ubiquitous for months now and yet we’re somehow still not sick of them. Fresh off their charming appearance on Fallon, featuring Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown) crushing Nicki Minaj’s rap from “Monster,” kid stars Caleb McLaughlin (Lucas) and Gaten Matarazzo (Dustin) popped by Coney Island yesterday, appearing on stage with Darren Criss at Elsie Fest, a big stage and screen music festival at the new boardwalk amphitheater.
You probably missed all this since the beaches were closed out of fears of severe rip tides from Hermine, which led to lots of empty beaches. But if you were there, you would have seen Matarazzo continued to impress with his previously noted singing ability as the duo sang songs with Criss, and overall looked like they are still having the best time of their lives, which they probably are. (more…)
A new mini-golf course has opened in Coney Island. Photo via @anthony_0358 on Instagram.
Recently, we recommended Shipwrecked, Brooklyn’s first indoor mini-golf course, as a fun, air-conditioned diversion on a hot day. Since opening in Red Hook a couple months back, Shipwrecked has filled a huge hole in the summer fun market, since there isn’t much else in the way of mini-golf in Brooklyn. But now, a new course called Brooklyn Miniature Golf opened last week in Coney Island, according toGothamist. (more…)
Families gather in the picnic area to enjoy a meal before the game. Photos via the Cyclones.
Summer in the city isn’t the same without a baseball game, especially making a day of it with a big group. But it’s hard to convince a bunch of friends to drop a month’s rent on Yankees box seats. And no one wants to sit in the nosebleed section of Citi Field. Luckily us Brooklynites have a better option: The Brooklyn Cyclones’ brand new Brooklyn Backyard Picnic area. The Cyclones removed one of their bleachers for the 2016 season and turned it into an events space groups can rent out before the game.
From the moment you enter the private entrance you feel like you’re visiting someone’s yard party, but on a Jay Gatsby scale. There are grills with dozens of dogs and burgers, buffet tables, coolers full of soda and bars dotted all around. But this isn’t just some isolated suburban retreat. You’re right next to the Cyclones outfield, at eye-level with the players. (more…)
The seats at the new semi-outdoor Coney Island amphitheater, where semi-free concerts will be held this summer. via Facebook.
Coney Island has been home to free Seaside Summer Concert Series ever since former Borough President Marty Markowitz made it his pet project years ago. This year, with the opening of the brand-new Amphitheater at Coney Island Boardwalk, the city’s first major beachside venue (which the Village Voice already called a $61 million logistical boondoggle) the concert series announced plans to relocate to the new 5,000-seat venue.
That apparently also means the shows aren’t quite as free as they used to be: Some of the shows are now a mix of paid/free tickets, so you’ll have to go down to Coney Island a few days before the shows like the Beach Boys and Kool & the Gang to get tickets to some shows instead of just walking up. It’s been, suffice it to say, a very mixed start for the new Live Nation backed theater. (more…)
1. Plan for a cruelty-free feast at Haymarket’s Vegan Memorial Day Sale, with 10 percent off all BBQ supplies, plus treats by pop-up vendors Ponycakes, Brooklyn Whiskers, and Yeah Dawg. (Haymarket’s Corner, FREE)
2. Compete for swag prizes at Syndicated’s Downeast Cider Popup, featuring an oh-so-challenging single-hole putt-putt course, plus cider cocktails and a special cider-infused meal. (Syndicated BK, FREE)