02/04/16 9:18am
A rendering of the proposed streetcar via NYT.

A rendering of the proposed streetcar via NYT.

Brooklyn could finally be getting some new public transit! And it’s going to be a … trolley? The New York Times reported yesterday the mayor is set to unveil a super ambitious plan to link Sunset Park, Dumbo, Brooklyn Heights, the Navy Yard, Williamsburg, Greenpoint all the way up to Astoria with a sleek new trolley car line. The idea is to serve the developing communities along the East River that are far from a subway line. It’d cost $2.5 billion, which is still less than a subway line, and move at 12mph which is just slow enough to annoy everyone.

Hey that’s cool, though, Brooklyn used to filled with trolley cars, so maybe we’ll finally get the Dodgers back too. And it certainly beats putting priority on new roads for cars, which are dumb. But then you remember the dire state of some of our subways, and that DC’s efforts to install streetcars were a historic boondoggle. Is this the best use of our transit money? Here’s what people make of what the mayor calls a stella-r plan.  (more…)

09/11/15 2:44pm

Given that he rode into City Hall on a wave of support and good feelings not seen for a Democrat since before we were born, the prospect of Bill de Blasio turning heel on New York City and threatening its people with violence seemed unthinkable. Yet here we are, with Mayor Tall showing up on Late Night with Seth Meyers and (admittedly a little awkwardly) excoriating people who won’t stop looking at their phones while walking down the street and subway riders insist on wearing giant backpacks on crowded trains. Getting more graphic, Mayor Tall threatened to “rip somebody’s arms off” if he comes across a subway car where no one will give their seat to a pregnant woman. Then again, we suppose if beloved liberal icon Jon Stewart can make a shocking heel turn, a tolerated liberal guy in a suit can get on a mic and insult his base before swearing to become an agent of brutal extrajudicial violence.

[h/t Gothamist] (more…)

09/08/15 1:56pm
Smile! Its the party of the year!

Smile! Its the party of the year! Photos by Madelyn Owens

The West Indian American Day Parade is like no other in NYC. It’s family friendly, as evidenced by the troupes of adorable little kids with impressive drumming skills, or babies on fathers’ shoulders sporting their country’s flag with pride. This is not a 5th Avenue, Manhattan-style parade. The festivities pour outside of the police barriers onto the sidewalks crammed with vendors hawking jerk chicken, Shark & Bake, sorrel punch and roti. It climbs up the fronts of the stately buildings of Eastern Parkway; from old ladies waving Jamaican flags from the 3rd floor window, to shirtless bros dancing with proud beer bellies from the fire escape.

The centerpiece, of course, are the elaborate costumes that parade participants spend all year creating. Glitter, feathers, bold colors, the energy is matched only by the music (every float worth its salt has at least a drummer or three and a wall of amps). (more…)

05/05/15 9:54am
bill de blasio subway

You’re in for a wait. Hope you brought a magazine. via Facebook

Mayors: they’re just like us! Or at least Mayor Tall was yesterday, in the sense that he relied on the subway to get to an important engagement and was late because of it. We wouldn’t know this except that the mayor accidentally copied the New York Times on an angry email to his staff where he complained about that, “We waited 20 mins for an express only to hear there were major delays.”

While I’m usually one to point and laugh at something like this, I’m somewhat of an expert at going down into the subway with no time allotted for a delay, hoping against all reason the trains won’t be delayed, and then of course being late. I’ve developed some coping mechanisms while waiting for the train that I’ll gladly share with the mayor so that the next time the subway screws him over, he’ll be less of a big tall stress ball. (more…)

02/03/15 1:16pm
artspace ps109

Get ready for more art castles like PS 109. via Facebook

In case you were wondering why Bill de Blasio was suddenly trending on your Twitter timeline, today was the State of the City address. You might think that it’s just a boring speech for nerds, and maybe you’re right. There were a couple notes of interest for you in this year’s speech though. For one, de Blasio wants to build 1,500 units of affordable artist housing/workspace. He also threw down the gauntlet and asked Albany to raise New York City’s minimum wage to $13 and to index it to inflation. (more…)

01/28/15 1:06pm
The mayor sending sanitation workers out to certain doom. via Facebook

The mayor sending sanitation workers out to certain doom. via Facebook

So, now that the sun in shining and the roads are all paved, we can all take a second to sit down and admit maybe we, as a seaboard, might have over-reacted to this whole “blizzard” thing. The frenzied grocery shopping, consumption of insane amounts of alcohol, and the manic pairing-off were all for naught, as we ended up getting a mere 6 inches of snow, and a crazy hangover.

While a few good things came from the blizzard in New York, like amazing pictures and some awesome sledding action, the best thing to happen from this snowstorm is undoubtedly this recording of Bill de Blasio reading this Onion article about his prophecies of death and destruction approaching with the “furious hoarfrost”. The article perfectly sums up the road-shutting fear being displayed by everybody right up until the light frost dusted our city, and hearing de Blasio warn that our babes “Will howl for but a few hours before death becalms them forever,” is well, icing on the cake.

01/13/15 2:29pm
de blasio cop banner

Devastating. There’s no coming back from this. via Twitter user @sarkis01

Ah, the airplane banner, the traditional beach herald of messages like “$4 BUD LIGHT AT JOHNNY’S CRAB SHACK” or “LADIE’S NIGHT AT THE BIFF’S TIKI HUT.” The banner is getting a new edge though, because it’s also turning into the preferred way for Bill de Blasio’s political enemies to spread their message that Mayor Tall is basically killing the police with his mild rhetoric criticizing some of their tactics. Today’s banner, the third such one we’ve seen in the last few weeks, screamed “DE BLASIO GET OFF THE POT RESIGN WE ❤️ NYPD.” (more…)

01/08/15 3:54pm
de blasio pot

Would you want to see this face close up?

Is the mayor of our fair burg a dope smoking drug friend? So say rumors that are probably being fed to people by police who are SO MAD at Mayor Tall. The answer is almost definitely no, because you don’t spend half your life planning to be the mayor of New York City just so to see it all fall apart because you want to take some bong hits before watching Broad City.

Rather than focus on the how the police rebellion under Bill de Blasio is starting to get nasty and weird, we’d rather focus on the important question at hand: Would you get high with Bill de Blasio if given the chance? I would do it, considering I’m not that discriminating about who I smoke weed with. I also think it would start to get a little weird because at his core, de Blasio seems like a nerdy policy wonk and not a guy who’ll watch Sealab 2021‘s “Uh Oh” scene over and over with you. Would other Team Brokelyn members do it though? Let’s see! (more…)

11/14/14 10:30am
vision zero map

Looks like we’re not too close to that whole “zero” thing

One of Mayor Tall’s stated goals is to reduce traffic fatalities in the city to zero, or as he dubbed it Vision Zero. It seems kind of unrealistic, but who are we to tell a man who sleeps so long not to dream so big? One of the best ways to accomplish this possibly outlandish goal is to get plenty of information, so to that end, the de Blasio administration has put out this fun interactive map that shows things like where the city’s slow zones, traffic calming measures and speed bumps are, but also where and how many traffic and pedestrian injuries and deaths happen. We don’t know much about street design, but we do know about idly looking up where our potential traffic death is going to happen. (more…)

mayor de blasio park slope home

Nicer than where we live. via Brooklyn Properties

As we all know, before he was forced to flee price increases for public housing, Mayor Bill de Blasio and his family led a charmed life living in Park Slope. That’s over now, and because their house was getting lonely, you can now rent it (to live there we mean, not for parties) and tell people how you live in Mayor Tall’s house. Thinking it can’t be you? Well, it won’t be fore financial reasons, because the three-story, three-bedroom house Park Slope townhouse is going for $4,975/month. The only downside? It doesn’t come with a cool intimidating police security patrol. (more…)