10/02/15 4:01pm
Whole lotta black and white on there

Whole lotta black and white on there

Look, we understand the Islanders’ move to Brooklyn was never going to be smoothest relocation imaginable, what with a devoted fanbase in the suburbs and cranky bloggers who allegedly know nothing about hockey throwing rocks at them. That being said, it hasn’t been made any easier by some self-inflicted wounds like hundreds of obstructed-view seats or a goal horn that the team’s existing fans immediately turned against or that boring black and white jersey. Barclays Center CEO Brett Yormark went on the radio to defend the team’s choice of goal horn and alternate jersey color scheme, and while doing so, blurted out that everyone knows that Brooklyn’s official colors are black and white (they are not). Well, at least we know he has the same deep connection to Brooklyn history as he does to our country music scene. (more…)

09/28/15 2:48pm
Hopefully it means more of this

Hopefully it means Jon Stewart gets himself involved in things again

Pro wrestling is about as hot as it’s ever been, what 3000-word guides on how to watch and understand it being thrown out onto the internet. Brooklyn has wrestling mumps as bad as anywhere else, as shown by the WWE selling out SummerSlam and their developmental league showcase NXT last month, but if you missed all of it, don’t worry. Everyone loves a residency, so for the next two years SummerSlam will be coming BACK to the Barclays Center. (more…)

08/11/15 2:56pm
Pop quiz: Wrestling superstar or guy you might run into at Hank's? via Facebook

Pop quiz: Wrestling superstar or guy you might run into at Hank’s? via Facebook

Maybe because everyone realized they actually do live violence, no matter how choreographed, maybe because it’s impossible to turn away when a guy is destroying a car with an axe or maybe because it’s not like it’s any more embarassing than telling the world you’re livetweeting The Bachelor, professional wrestling is having a moment in the sun once more. Coincidentally, SummerSlam and Monday Night RAW are coming here this month, and Brooklyn has responded the only way it knows how: by making tickets to the events ridiculously goddamn expensive. (more…)

07/14/15 11:11am
We're not gonna say we told you so. We're gonna shout we told you so. via the Barclays Center

We’re not gonna say we told you so. We’re gonna shout we told you so. via the Barclays Center

If you’ve ever been to the Barclays Center and sat in the cheap seats (which if you’re reading this blog, that’s probably where you sat), you probably noticed almost immediately that everything there is extremely precarious. The seats and stairs slope down on what feels like a 180 degree angle and the space between the rows is so small if always feels like you’re one misstep, drunk or sober, away from tumbling down the seats. That drunken misstep finally happened at a Billy Joel concert of all things, but instead of the person who fell suing the Barclays Center, the woman the falling man fell on is suing the Barclays Center. (more…)

03/09/15 1:35pm
brooklyn dnc

It just won’t ever die. Photoshop of Chris Gigant’s photoshop by Curtis Glenn

With Philadelphia being the “lucky winner” of the DNC sweepstakes, we thought that Brooklyn was safe from political nominating conventions and their army of political nimrods wandering our streets. We (Brokelyn, specifically) even “danced a jig” according to the New York Times. Sadly, that touchdown dance looks like it was all for naught, because already political types are hyping up “DNC 2020 in Brooklyn,” crushing our hopes that we had driven the beast out for good. (more…)

12/26/14 1:20pm
brook lopez nets

Brook Lopez feels for you, broke basketball-goers. via The Brooklyn Game

Hey there, broke basketball fan. Were you making plans to watch the Nets go on an improbable post-New Year’s run for a second straight year live and in-person? Well, beyond the fact that you shouldn’t get your hopes up that that will happen again, you should also keep in mind it could cost you big, at least if you have children, terrible children. A new study pegs the cost for a family of 4 to “enjoy” a game at the Barclays Center at $404.60. Just another argument not to have kids, frankly. (more…)

12/17/14 9:34am
barclays center roof leak

Yeah, we’ve been there

If you live in New York City long enough, you will eventually have to deal with the prospect of a leaky roof when it rains. Apparently this universal problem extends to our sports teams too, as the Nets/Heat game was delayed last night because the roof of the (billion-dollar) Barclays Center started leaking during the light rain. Really gives you confidence that the apartments being built next to it will definitely leak. (more…)

arcade fire

They’re ready to party. Or at least as ready as the Arcade Fire can be to party.

So you missed the Arcade Fire when they played Bushwick, and you’ve been regretting it ever since. Good thing you can see them at Barclays Center, huh? Why pay full price though, when you can use this Groupon to pay 50% less for tickets to Win Butler and pals wear giant paper maché heads? No seriously, we’re asking why you’d do that. (more…)

06/09/14 4:14pm
Brooklyn DNC

This is our future. Unless we fight. Terrifying Jonah photoshop by Chris Giganti

Despite our howling protests asking him not to, lousy old Mayor de Blasio has decided to put in a bid for Brooklyn to host the DNC. Like we said when we first asked Mayor Tall not to subject us to this, we’re looking at 35,000 clones of Jonah, Veep‘s self-obsessed, buffoonish presidential aide turned candidate hanger-on who’s an all too real caricature of DC, descending on Brooklyn.

That’s 35,000 Jonahs who don’t know how to use MetroCard machines, who step in front of you to steal your cab, who hit on your girlfriend and reek of the desperation that only the young, ambitious and ideologically bereft can reek of. Take heart though: we’ve got a battle plan to keep the DNC from picking Brooklyn, we just need your help to implement it. (more…)

06/05/14 1:43pm

This could be you next season. Not shown: The Net’s 6-43 record. via Facebook

Give me a B!  Give me an R! Give me a chance to shake it in a skimpy sparkly costume in the Barclays Center?  Check.

In case you miss your old middle school cheerleading days, or if you missed out on the spirit squad all together, your chance to break out your spirit fingers and relive teenage glory has arrived. because The Brooklynettes, the Nets’ dance squad, are holding open auditions this month. (more…)