Who needs astronaut ice cream when there’s this nail art?
Listen, I don’t know about your manicure situation, but for me boring OPI colors don’t cut it anymore. I’m always looking for the hottest new nail swag. I’m talking gel manicures, sparkles, cool ass shit. If you can relate to me on an emotional level and want to step up your nail game, then check out IHeartNailArt on Etsy. My homegirl, Julia, sells unique nail art– she has astronauts, yes, and also Rudolph, kitties, even Sweet Valley High. She creates the designs in Illustrator with a digital pen, then prints them out on a thin plastic decal paper and hand paints them with a clear polish. You cut the decal out, wet the backing and peel them off, and seal them on your nail with clear nail polish. Pretty easy once you get the hang of it. These sets include 30 nail decals, which are enough for two or three manicures. And they’re mad cheap! $6 to $8.50 at IHeartNailArt
On that headline alone, you should apply for this thing. It’s a four-month-long Cornell and NASA study that wants to figure out what it would be like to store, prepare and eat food on a hypothetical Mars mission, and it’s in Hawaii! And it involves your getting to “live and work together in a small isolated Mars analogue habitat in a Mars-like environment.” Meaning no-oxygen and horrible creatures? That might be a short study. The requirements are pretty simple for a Mars mission: science degree, physical fitness, normal sense of taste and smell, etc. The study pays for round-trip travel, food and lodging, and a $5,000 bonus when it’s done. Deadline is Feb. 29!
How do six figures, staying fit at work, an opportunity to finally use your master’s degree and the chance for distant (very distant) travel sound? Slightly better than stocking cans at Trader Joe’s, at least. NASA is hiring new astronauts! “Creativity. Ambition. Teamwork. A sense of daring. And a probing mind. That’s what it takes to join NASA, one of the best places to work in the Federal Government,” says the ad (One of? What federal government job is better than going into fraking space? Does Health and Human Services have a TARDIS??). The salary ranges from the surprisingly low $64,000 up to $141,000, and you get to hitch a ride with the Russians up to the International Space Station. The requirements sound oddly attainable too: some advanced degrees, some experience, good vision. But, wait, you’d have to move to Houston. Ugh. Might have better luck waiting for The Doctor to offer a ride.