If you haven’t paid your taxes, then maybe you should stop reading and write some last requests, because the IRS is undoubtedly on its way to end your days. But otherwise, hey! Check out these new apartment listings that feature ways for you to get cozy on the cheap while you wait for that tax return, in an exciting new “Look at this Fucking Kitchen” edition!
Winter was a fucking downer but April is looking up. And if you avoid moving into a renovated high-rise, you can be, too! Opt out of the shiny-faucet condo life this spring and check out these lowdown townhouses up for grabs on the market today. Real estate is no stranger to the old saying that good things come in threes, it seems—most of the best deals from our real estate listings this week are on 3-bedroom apts. (more…)
If you made $67,000/year, you’d be home by now. via Flickr user unfauxhemian
You might have become briefly hopeful the other day when we informed you that Bushwick, Crown Heights and Sunset Park were “affordable,” in the sense that you didn’t have to sell your kidneys to afford a place there. Of course, we did point out that you’d need sixty or seventy thousand dollars to pony up for a down payment, but something we hadn’t considered is that you’d need to make that per year if you wanted to own a home here. But, according to mortgage research website HSH, it takes a yearly salary of $66,167.27 to cover your stupid mortgage and its stupid interest payments. Whatever, the exciting renter’s life is much more fun than the boring stability of home ownership anyway. (more…)
NYU student who claims to need things like “sunlight” and “space.” via New York Times
We usually try not to get too grumpy about kids today and how they’re soft and how in our day we had to hand-crank our modems in the snow to make them work. But as long as the Times is profiling an NYU student who found dorm life too hard and instead went looking for an apartment of her own, we’ll do some grousing.
For $1,795 a month, a ground-floor studio on Sullivan Street was perfectly located, though tiny and dark. The entry was through a narrow gated alleyway.
“I was unhappy in my dorm situation,” Ms. Csordas-Jenkins said, “and it would be pointless for me to move into a dark little hole that I wouldn’t be happy in, just because it was my own.”
In our day, our first New York apartments were dark little holes and we liked it! Plus, once we could actually afford windows, it made us appreciate them so much more.
It might not be 2009 anymore, which means that you aren’t hearing “Empire State of Mind” blasting out of every car stuck in traffic along Flatbush Avenue. But that doesn’t mean you don’t know all the words, which is why even though you’ve never lived there, the address 560 State Street his burned into your brain (“Took it to my stash spot, 560 State Street/Catch me in the kitchen like a Simmons whipping pastry”). And now if you’ve got a spare $870,000 (or really good credit for a mortgage) lying around, you can live in the very spot where Jay-Z whipped like Simmons. (more…)
You’ve got the beard, you’ve got the flannel, but there’s still something missing from your carefully cultivated “Ron Swanson-lite” persona. Unless you’re going to suddenly start going on about the superiority of libertarianism (LOL, sure), we’ve got the missing, although expensive piece for you: a $3500/month apartment in Williamsburg described as “an urban cabin.” $3500! We know what you’re thinking: what a bargain! (more…)
You know you could see your dog running around here
In case you hadn’t heard, it’s 2014. A whole new year! So maybe it’s about time you got a fresh start, not through something stupid like “quitting drinking,” but by doing something more tangible, like finding an apartment where the neighbors don’t blast techno at all hours of the night. Living somewhere you like has a huge impact on your quality of life, so we’ve picked out a few places from our real estate section that we think will help you get a fresh start in 2014. (more…)
The next best thing to living on a cargo ship! via Curbed
Whether or not the owners of Williamsburg’s first shipping container apartment were trying to be trendsetters, or they just really really liked the idea of taking to the sea, we’re now one more shipping container house away from getting an official trend piece in the New York Times, because Curbed has pictures of a new, and bigger one. If you were considering building one of your own, just remember: Barry Zuckercorn’s advice about all crime done at sea being legal does notextend to living in shipping containers. (more…)
At the moment you’re broke as hell slaving away at some barely above entry level job, so you live where you can afford and you like it. Someday though, you might actually be looking for a nicer place to live or even a place that’s brand spaking new. Plus given the fact that new housing in Brooklyn is going to keep going up, your chances of landing in a new building are higher than they might seem. But new buildings come with new questions, so Brick Underground answered some of them. Here are the ones we found most interesting. (more…)
So, rent in Brooklyn is still apocalyptic. We’re not quite at the level of truly useful Citi Bikes or making your own energy bars but we’re getting there. Still, in the meantime, you need to live somewhere, and it would be preferable if that somewhere didn’t bleed your bank account dry. Fortunately we found a few places for you in our real estate listings that are cheaper than the median rents for their apartment size. So at least now you can have a place to shack up in until the apocalypse comes. (more…)