Sweet Jesus, don’t let this candy chain store in Coney do well

We will gladly be unhip and buy candy apples at Williams Candy

We will gladly be unhip and buy candy apples at Williams Candy. via Facebook

One particularly annoying thing about chains is that they’re all so big on “brands” and “lifestyle shopping.” You don’t just eat at Taco Bell, you have a fourth meal, for instance. And in the case of It’s Sugar, a new candy chain opening up in Coney Island, buying candy isn’t just a way to get a sugar fix, it’s a way to be hip and cool, according to their CEO. If you’re going to buy candy  in Coney, for the love of god, go anywhere else, please.

It’s Sugar opened up recently on Surf and Stillwell Avenues, yet another sign of the Thor Equities-sponsored Applebee-ification of Coney. It’s Sugar also happened to open a block away from Coney mainstay Williams Candy, which is fine and all, but then their CEO talked to the Brooklyn Paper and tried to start a war. “Our candy stores are not your typical ‘old fashioned and stale’ stores but more of a hip and cool place,” said the CEO of a candy chain that specializes in selling mass-market melted sugar to the American populace. Because nothing says “hip” and “cool” like jumbo boxes of Nerds or Laffy Taffy. Can’t find those literally anywhere else in America, no sir.

Fighting against chain stores often feels like tilting at windmills. After all, they have endless resources with which to win a battle of attrition with local stores. But really, seriously, you’re gonna make eating candy not a battle of which candy is better but which store is cooler? When your store has all the charm of a pastel-by-committee corporate safety play? Well, we can only react by charging our readers with a mission this summer: buy candy apples from Williams Candy (1318 Suf Avenue) whenever you can and eat them right outside of It’s Sugar. Tell people how good they are. Just don’t let these jerks win.