There’s an acupuncture clinic in Brooklyn this weekend for ‘politically-induced stress’

This is a scientific and accurate Eastern chart

This is a highly scientific and accurate Eastern chart. Edited by Sam Corbin

If this election is severely stressing you out, the solution isn’t to avoid the ballot box. It’s just to de-stress the way you always do: with beer, or a massage, or in this case, acupuncture.

This Sunday, Oct. 30, there’s a donation-based acupuncture clinic “for politically induced anxiety, rage, insomnia, fear and trauma.” It’s being held at Honey’s Brooklyn, a cozy little cocktail bar on Scott Ave. in Bushwick. At 2pm, the clinic will welcome a limited number of people for a stress-melting needle session, catered especially to those who are “finding the election coverage manifesting as physical or emotional symptoms.”

You may scoff at such a holistic approach to election season wellness, but it’s no less effective than typing woebegone, novel-length essays in a Facebook status. Acupuncture is merely the Eastern hemisphere’s version of a viral Tweet: something sharp enough to hit just the right nerve so as to experience the benefits long after it’s over.

This isn’t the first time that #ElectionGate2016 has led to businesses offering stress relief services. Earlier this year a massage therapist offered “Trump anxiety” massages

The clinic is community-style, so everyone is going to be receiving treatment at the same time — courtesy of Graham Marks M.Ac, who in addition to his private practice has also worked with Acupuncturists Without Borders to relieve victims of Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Sandy.  If you’ve been to a place like Brooklyn Open Acupuncture in Fort Greene or Brooklyn Acupuncture Project in Gowanus, you can expect a similar vibe. Just don’t open your eyes to stare at the guy next to you lying serenely with needles in his face.

Treatment will take an hour, and is being offered on a donation basis (be kind; most sessions at sliding scale community clinics start at $15 and up). If you’re planning on going, wear comfortable clothes and make sure to RSVP to acugraham[at]gmail.com as space is limited to the first 25 guests who respond. If you don’t make the cut, don’t despair: there’s other discount acupuncture out there, or cupping if you really want to suck the misery out.