If you’re gonna be the Times’ music critic though, you need to know how old Lorde REALLY is. via Facebook

You’ve been arguing about the merits of musicians with people since you were an insufferable precocious child breaking down why Menudo was better than New Kids on the Block, and you’re still at it today writing Lana Del Rey think pieces in your spare time. Instead of doing this for free though, now you can get paid for it as the New York Times new pop music reporter. A job where you’re paid to be an insufferable music snob? It’s like Heaven.

What does one do exactly as the pop music reporter? According to the job listing, your beat will be the entirety of pop music, and you’ll need to spot trends on the horizon before they overtake us all. You’ll be writing daily for different sections of the paper, both about mainstream pop radio and weird internet sensation pop music and about how pop intersects with other aspects of life and the news cycle.

So if you want to get yourself on the Paramore beat, all the Times asks for is four years of journalism experience of some kind and that you “know a Miley lyric from a Lorde line.” Provided you can do that, email popjob [AT] nytimes.com and let them know that not only do you know “Wrecking Ball” from “Royals”, but also that you can spot the next Taylor Swift from a mile away. Blindfolded.

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