In the weird but we’re-so-there department: a free full-body sound massage

Sergei's sound massage in action. Would this be considered infidelity?

I’ve only paid for a few massages in my life, but I know how they work. Walk into a softly-lit room, drop trow and wait on a cushioned table for a quiet healer’s oiled hands to pull back the sheet and hit play on a Pure Moods cassette. Then again, this is Brooklyn. A place where cartoonists will sharpen your pencils, the arteesenal way. And a massage can be a “massage performance” using sound waves instead of oiled-up palms.

This weekend at Issue Project Room downtown, Brooklyn-based electronic musician Sergei Tcherepnin is hooking up volunteers to his synthesizers via “magnetic transducers (like a speaker without a cone)” For a half hour, he’ll pump his music into your bod, and rather than hearing it, you will feel a “six-channel electronic composition.” All I really know is that it sounds cool, and I’m SIGNING UP.

It’s free, but they’re asking a suggested donation of $10. Get all the details, including RSVP info, on our Brooklyn events calendar.