Show that you’re DTF and 8 other free things to do this week

That’s what it means, right?

1. Enjoy Brooklyn’s brand new comedy show, DTF. Which, as we all know, stands for down to (have) fun. Right, that’s what it stands for? (Monday)

2. Brooklyn Winery’s got a Poltergeist and The Amytiville Horror double feature. We’ve experienced an Amityville horror ourselves, it’s called “visiting the suburbs.” (Tuesday)

3. The Society for the Advancement of Social Studies tells you what all the explorers not named Christopher Columbus did. Maybe they’ll talk about Giovanni di Prinzo, first European explorer to catch an STD. (Tuesday)

4. Satirical/critical reading series Animal Farm claims to have been AWOL because they were at Rikers, so now that they’re back, they might be a little stabby until they readjust to society. (Tuesday)

5. Why don’t you take your problems to the United Nations Evening Dilemma? It’s a new advice show recording at Word. (Wednesday)

6. The best part of a Baked cookbook release party is that you’re encouraged to eat. It didn’t go over so well when we started sampling pages of The Marriage Plot last year. Sorry, Eugenides, get off your high horse. (Wednesday)

7. Celebrating Oktoberfest at Babeland couldn’t possibly lead you to drunkenly buying sex toys you don’t need, but mostly because there’s no such thing as a sex toy you don’t need. (Thursday)

8. It’s the first Thursday of the month, so you know what that means: pretending you’re not home when the landlord comes knocking wandering the many galleries of DUMBO. (Thursday)

9. Dust off your WIN pins and Spiro Agnew jokes, Target First Saturdays at the Brooklyn Museum is going back to the 70s. (Friday)