Shocking new report: Subway platforms kinda gross, bleak

Oh so you're too good for mystery liquids now? via Flickr user Katherine Sharpe

Oh so you’re too good for mystery liquids now? via Flickr user Katherine Sharpe

Anyone who’s ever been on a subway platform can tell you it’s a sunny, bright place to sit down and have a meal, or lay down for a nap. Or so we thought. NYPRIG’s Straphangers Campaign canvassed every subway station in the city and it turns out our insistence that subway platforms are clean enough to eat off of might be wrong. But if there’s no gum on the platform, how will you know where to stand to board the train?OK, so we’re not actually gonna goof on them too much for going to every subway stop to confirm this. But, the Straphangers Campaign’s State of the Platforms report does reiterate that the subway is not the prettiest place to be in the city. On the one hand, all but 30 out of 862 platforms in the system have a garbage can, and garbage bags were only seen overflowing in 17 of those platforms.

On the other hand, 430 out of 525 underground platforms have what NYPIRG deems “substantial water damage,” which is what they deem a platform that is rusted all to hell. And for those of you (pretty much all of you) who’ve seen huge long section of peeling paint, you can rest assured it’s not just in your station, because you can find that problem in 389 stations. Oddly enough, the canvassing efforts only found rats in 66 underground stations, which seems really low.

And while obviously it’d be nice to not be waiting for a train on a rusty, puddle-filled platform where you’re wondering where all the tiles are, we think before the platforms become cheerier, the trains should run better first. The answer, as always, is to demand Albany give us our goddamn money for the MTA, those dicks. That part wasn’t in the report, we just get frustrated with state politics.