Shocking discovery by NatGeo: Crime happens in Brooklyn (if you film it)

heavy woods

If only someone had been there to shake the crime stick at them.

Hey there foppish 20somethings of Bushwick, in your darkened bars lit only by hanging Edison bulbs: do you know what’s lurking around those trendy bars you love? CRIME. Yes, despite the Twelve Years of Bloomberg ushering in an era where even thinking about committing crimes (except white collar ones…) seemed to get you a police response, you’d think there was no more of it in Brooklyn. But think again loser, because investigative journalist Conor Woodman went to a bar in Bushwick and he found crime. Well, a pickpocketing staged for TV cameras. But, crime! Those terrified Super Bowl visitors were right all along.

According to the London Telegraph, Woodman went to some of the most dangerous cities in the world (and Brooklyn) for his show Scam City, to shed light on the scams that people run on tourists. They ran the gamut from dosing someone with a truth serum-like drug and locking them a room until they get their ATM pins and credit cards from them to the really mild pickpocketing filmed at for the Brooklyn segment. Of course, to have it happen, Woodman also needed to bring the pickpockets to the bar and have him show the scam they do to some yutz just sitting there, before they gave her wallet to Woodman. So uh, thanks for proving that if you literally invite crime in, it will happen, we guess.

According to Woodman, the people doing the pickpocketing at trendy bars consider themselves to be striking back at gentrifiers. Which is the exact reasoning given to me by the guys who shook me down for five dollars a few years ago. Except they also threatened to kick the shit out of me. Anyway, don’t leave your bag hanging on your chair behind you, because as this situation shows, you’re not always gonna have FF Woodycooks to shake the crime stick at ’em.