The Brokelyn itinerary for William and Kate’s big Brooklyn visit

Why, they'll fit right in, won't they? via The Guardian

Why, they’ll fit right in, won’t they? via The Guardian

Roll out the hand-stitched red carpets! Put on your finest tweed cap, then doff it! Honk your cab horns in majestic awe! His royal highness Prince William and his wife, Princess Kate Middleton are coming to visit Brooklyn this weekend! As much press as Brooklyn has gotten over the last few years, the Royal Family might not be up on what the best things to do and see while they’re on our side of the pond. So, we thought we’d use our expertise to give the royal duo a guide to show the Brooklyn good time they deserve. 

brooklyn queens expressway

via Flickr user Steven Vance

-The Brooklyn-QUEENS Expressway

-KINGS County Saloon

-ROYAL Palms Shuffleboard Club

-KINGS County Hospital Center

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windsor terrace

via Flickr user Connie

-WINDSOR Terrace

-BUCKINGHAM Road

-CROWN Inn

-Double WINDSOR Bar (or just WINDSOR terrace in general)

-Barnes and NOBLE

-WALES (whales) watching

-ROYAL Jewels

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kings highway

-KINGS Highway

-COLONIAL Road

-ROYAL Fried Chicken KING

-QUEEN Italian Restaurant

-ROYAL Aqua World

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white castle

via Flickr user Ari Moore

-White CASTLE

-Three KINGS Tattoo

-St. GEORGE Hotel

-CROWN Victoria

-A ROYAL Flush port-o-potty at any of Brooklyn’s many construction sites

-PICCADILLY Fashions

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kings laundromat

-KINGS Laundromat

-PALACE Cafe

-BookCOURT

-WILLIAMSburg

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crown heights

via Flickr user ehousely

-CROWN Heights

-CROWN Fried Chicken

-The Brooklyn unemployment office, because those fucking transplant royals need to stop living off their parents and get JOBS

Expertly culled suggestions via Magaret Bortner, David Colon, Tim Donnelly, Chelsea Leibow, Eric Silver and Dave Rosado