RIP L train: 10 proposals to replace the train once it shuts down for years

The next Manhattan-bound L train will arrive in 1,576,800 minutes. Via.

The next Manhattan-bound L train will arrive in 1,576,800 minutes. Via.

RIP L train, we’d say you had a good run but that was only on the times you weren’t overcrowded or not even running on the weekends. Gothamist broke the news yesterday (later confirmed by the Times) that the L train between Brooklyn and Manhattan could be shut down for three whole years (!) to repair tunnel damage work from Hurricane Sandy [UPDATE: 7/25: We now know the train will officially shut down for 18 month starting in January 2019]. As preposterous as it seems to shut down an entire subway line that moves 300,000 riders a day from Williamsburg, Bushwick, Ridgewood, Brownsville, East New York and Canarsie, preposterous is just another dare for the MTA. But before you get too worked up about being stuck at the Bedford Stop until 2020, don’t fret: people are already proposing totally rational alternatives to #LNiño.

They don’t want you to get to work

The Pat Kiernan “tandem plan”

Tugboats

A singe skateboard

Hand-cranked dirigibles (because hipsters amiright)

Hovercrafts

Unicycle rickshaws (because hipsters amiright)

Zipline across the East River

Josh Gondola-man

Bus bridge (note: this is a Real Idea)

Make a new bridge out of people who don’t understand that the L train serves families and long-time residents who live as far out as Canarsie not to mention ex Manhattanites living in new condos

Of course, there is only one actual solution: rig a train up as a Back to the Future 3 style time machine and go back 30 years to invest in our city’s infrastructure before it’s too late.

Someone must stop Robert "Biff" Moses.

Someone must stop Robert “Biff” Moses.