Regatta be kidding me: boat race planned for Gowanus

"You think we're lost? I think we're lost." via Flickr user HudonNoodles

“You think we’re lost? I think we’re lost.” via Flickr user HudonNoodles

Man, one dolphin dies in your canal and everyone bends over backwards to prove it’s nota swirling mass of poison. Not that it we aren’t staunch defenders of people doing questionably safe things. “Safety last,” that’s one of our many mottos here and why we’re on OSHA’s “Most Wanted” list. Anyway, getting back on subject, there’s going to be a canoe race in the Gowanus Canal of all places, this summer.

The race is being put on by the Gowanus Dredgers canoe club on June 15, so keep that date in mind if you want to get involved but your health insurance runs out that day. Technically, you don’t need to use a canoe, the race is open to any human-powered boating device. Which gives us hope of a kind of Wacky Races scene going down on the canal. The race will start at the Dredgers’ boathouse and go in a 2.5-mile loop through the canal to the mouth of the New York Harbor and back to the boathouse.

Organizers told DNAInfo that the point of the race is to draw attention to all of New York’s polluted waterways, which is a noble goal certainly. We just hope they keep their mouths tightly shut while paddling through the water. Just kidding. Although, inspired by this, look for the Brokelyn-sponsored “Newtown Creek Diving Competition” in late August, calling attention to the fact that there are plenty of jokes to make about Newtown being a 3/4 oil and garbage lake as well.