Watch: Dive into the terrifying world of Brooklyn punk speed dating with the Hard Times

It is a matter of fact that the only decent non-Onion parody websites are Reductress, The Hard Times and Breitbart.com. While Reductress spoofs women’s magazines and Breitbart publishes bonkers fake headlines no one would actually believe like “Big Bang Actress Takes Heat for July 4th Photo of Dogs Sitting on American Flag,” the Hard Times is all about fake news that slam dances into the punk, hardcore, headbanging side of our heart. Headline highlights of late include: “Neftock, Master of Darkness, Agrees to Cover Shift at 7-11” and “Local Punk Would Like to Direct Your Attention to Even Bigger Tragedy.”

The site, which was founded by two West Coast writers and comedians, yesterday released one of its first videos and it’s a funny look at punk speed dating (and basically, dating in New York overall). It was filmed right here in Brooklyn at heavy metal dive Saint Vitus in Greenpoint, with external shots at Angry Wade’s in Carroll Gardens. You may want to make sure you’re vaccinated before watching.  

Even if you haven’t done “punk speed dating” yourself, you’ll surely recognize the familiar parade of losers, conspiracy theorists and mansplainers that make up the Brooklyn dating scene (or so I’m told). The highlight of the video is definitely when the one guy mansplains music to the gal in the vid to an absurdist degree, which I can 100 percent confirm is a real thing I see happen all the time. Knock that kind of shit off, dudes.

"Hey that's a cool shirt. Who bought it for you?" Via screenshot.

“Hey that’s a cool shirt. Who bought it for you?” Via screenshot.

The video was made by NYC comedy team Hundred Years. Go read more Hard Times stuff here, it’s a truly great read for these hard times of life. And Reductress too: it’s absolutely savage and it’s wonderful.

Follow Tim, who was the IRL inspiration for this Hard Times story: @timdonnelly.