Project Mayhem: Lousy teens form fight club behind Atlantic Center

atlantic center fight club

Pictured: A man who is not happy we’re talking about this story.

We know, we know, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don’t talk about Fight Club. The thing to keep in mind though, is the last rule of Fight Club, which is “If it’s your first time at Fight Club, you fight.” So while teens using social media to talk about and organize a Fight Club behind Atlantic Center are most definitely violating the first rule of Fight Club, they’re doing a hell of a job with the second one, according to DNA Info and witnesses to the Atlantic Center Fight Club. Well, they were doing a hell of a job until someone fired a gun, which probably violates an unwritten rule of Fight Club.

Yes, teenagers are holding a Fight Club behind the Atlantic Center mall behind the Burlington Coat Factory between 3pm and 5pm on weekdays, as groups of as teenagers are wont to do, even fifteen years after the movie came out (feel old?). Amazingly, they’ve been managing to get away with this for over a year, according to the story, and in every parent’s worst nightmare, the teens are organizing the whole thing through the Twitters and the Facebooks. Well, next to the nightmare of 30 kids forming a circle and watching two of them beat the ever loving piss out of each other, which is what happens because hey, Fight Club. Which is obviously a problem, but is becoming a less funny problem now that someone fired a gun at someone else at a recent Fight Club.

Police told DNA Info they’ve been monitoring the situation on social media, but wouldn’t say how many fights they’ve broken up in the year. Police also didn’t say whether they thought this disaffected group of nihilistic brawlers could organize themselves into a national domestic terrorist group that destroys the modern financial system, but we could see how that’s an easy fear to dismiss, given that these are just a bunch of lousy teenagers. That being said, maybe the answer to dealing with this is to distract the teens by lowering the smoking age back to 18. Although that could also blow up in our faces because then they might just start smoking while fighting.