Have a perfectly cromulent night and 8 other free ways to spend the week

simpsons club

It’s time for the episode that embiggened all of our vocabularies

1. The Simpsons Club invites you to learn the horrible truth about Jebediah Springfield and remember the time Marge had a Chanel jacket (Monday)

2. Comedy show Fresh Perspectives is ending their year with a show that has a mandatory tuxedo dress code. We’re not sure if they’re serious or some kinda goof. Only way to know is to show up (Monday)

3. Need to do something free on New Year’s? Our New Year’s guide has free stuff on top of free stuff (Tuesday)

4. If you’re not ready to stop partying for New Year’s, there’s always Cameo’s disco brunch, which is brunch, but there are also DJs (Wednesday)

5. On the other hand, if you are ready to slow it down a bit, you could watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy marathon at Videology (Wednesday)

6. Get a head start on your resolution to be more metal by screaming a Motorhead song at Heavy Metal Parking Lot at Matchless (Wednesday)

7. A meditation expert is showing up at Book Court and claims she can teach you to meditate your way through hating your dead end job that you hate. Good luck with that (Thursday)

8. Get a double dose of the pants scared off of you as Videology’s First Frightdays presents Room 237 and The Shining back-to-back. Don’t plan any ski trips after seeing them (Friday)

9. R&B crooner Jesse Boykin III is popping in to the Knitting Factory for a free show to make sure you weekend gets off to a sexy start (Friday)