Of course there’s a Fifty Shades sex workshop in Park Slope

Fifty Shades cupcakes. Tres Brooklyn. Photo courtesy of Bake That and Party via Flickr.

Are you one of the millions of women who had no idea how boring missionary is before succumbing to the Fifty Shades cult of BDSM curiosity? If you are looking for ways to kink up your love life (and avoid slipping into the “40-year-old Regression“) head over to Babeland in the Slope this Sunday (Aug. 5), for “Fifty Shades of Hot Sex” free brunch workshop. First 15 to arrive get a “Mr. Grey approved” pleasure package (likely filled with Vagina Balls). 

Leaving aside moral disgust over the fact that such a poorly written book is the #1 best selling novel on Amazon of all time, the resulting sexual awakening and de-stigmatization of talking about desire and fantasies and generally how much we all love sex is an important cultural phenomenon. But does it need to be a brunch activity? Just bend the fuck over and work out the art of a good spanking with a partner.

But if you do require/desire instruction, Babeland’s “Sex Educators” will demonstrate proper bondage and spanking techniques and ways to incorporate vagina balls Ben-Wa balls and other toys into the bedroom. The event is free and there will be coffee and muffins from Blue Sky Bakery, but no booze so be sure to go heavy on the morning mimosas.

RSVP here (no word on whether you’ll have to sign a non-disclosure and/or dominant/sumbissive contract).