Now Hiring: The Girl Scouts, WNYC, Funny or Die and more!

Can you make this go viral? You're hired! via Facebook

Can you make this go viral? You’re hired! via Facebook

Despite the fact that fall has allegedly started and the leaves are dying on the trees, you don’t have to look on your employment prospects with a similar kind of despair. Take heart, there’s all kinds of hiring going on in this crazy city, so please don’t sell your blood for exploitative debit cards or take any other rash actions. Just apply for one of the jobs we found you instead.

Everyone loves the Girl Scouts if America, those adorable, cookie-selling moppets. So you might think that a job as their social media specialist would be easy. A couple cookie tweets and memes and boom, time to take a seven and a half hour lunch. They want more than that though, which is fair. As their social media guru, you’ll run their blog, work with other departments to spread the Girl Scouts story and also be in charge of making sure your brilliant campaign ideas are working. If you’ve got 3 years of social media experience, great critical thinking skills and Microsoft Office skillz, you too could be making money and getting unlimited access to those cookies (NOTE: we don’t know if that part is true).

Funny or Die has accomplished that rare feat of making so much money from viral humor that they’ve got a fancy Manhattan office building to show for it. You could be in that fancy office building with those jokesters too, if you know code well enough to be their new designer and front-end developer. You’ve got to know HTML, CSS, Javascript and Photoshop inside and out, and yes, you need a sense of humor. Not because you’ll be writing the jokes, but according to Funny or Die’s ad, designing for comedy “has a specific rhythm to it.”

Data is pretty much everything these days, what with every part of our life being injected, inspected, detected and infected with questions about how efficient it is. You can be a part of that beautiful process if you get a job at WNYC as their data analyst. New York’s best radio station is looking for someone with one or two years of experience in the world of data and analysis to track how all of their stories are doing and make fancy weekly and monthly reports about it. Make sure you’ve got good people skills, because your presentations will have to be easy to understand, and also make sure you’re a master of Google Analytics and research methods.

Real estate and New York have been linked together like undead serial killers and nubile college students since basically the dawn of time, so it’s a pretty exciting industry to cover. You can find yourself right in the thick of it too, if you’ve got the video skills to pay the bills, as The Real Deal is hiring a video content creator to ramp up their video department. Moving pictures are new to TRD, so you’ll be the one coming up with idea for video to shoot, editing it and working with reporters on getting video into their boring old written journalism. If you basically see life through a camera lens, this is the job for you.

Everyone loves the Brooklyn Public Library, and now you can be a part of a place that you don’t have to be ashamed to tell people you work at, because they’re looking for a graphic designer. As their graphic designer, you’ll be designing brochures, fliers, signs and promo items, and making sure they all stay on-brand. Yes, that’s even important for the library. They’re looking for one to three years of experience and all the normal design skills (Photoshop, InDesign, Illustrator, typography), as well as someone really good at putting her finger to her mouth and going “Shhh.”

Speaking of being on brand, is your own persona brand so frequently ahead of the curve that it’s like you’re some kind of fashionable time traveling entity who may or may not be here to harm us? Good news! Indie designer marketplace AHAlife is looking for a curator who can pick out the best designers in a web full of them, so they can turn around and sell those designers to the fashionable masses who are just a step behind. You’ll be responsible for pitching AHAlife to designers to get them on board the platform, have a great eye for data so you can find trends and see what’s next in design and fashion and be a great negotiator. All pretty easy things for a time traveler, if you really are one.