Never say ‘die’ and 13 other free things to do this week

Well OK, but what do they say if not "die"? via Facebook

Well OK, but what do they say if not “die”? via Facebook

1. Comedy show Free Cable promises all the laffs you can get from basic cable, but without having to pay for it. Ben Kronberg, who’s been on Comedy Central will be there, as will house favorite Kate Berlant (Monday)

2. The East River Park movie series comes to an end with Skyfall. See if the best thing about the latest Bond movie was the Adele song during the title! (Monday)

3. Celebrate five years of death metal publishing with free beer and Swedish nachos as local publisher Bazillion Points throws themselves a fifth birthday party (Tuesday)

4. Ben Sargent, who used to run a pirate restaurant in Brooklyn (illegal, not eyepatch-themed) shares his favorite recipes in a cookbook, so check out the release party at powerHouse (Tuesday)

5. Williamsburg poetry reading Mental Marginalia has paid attention to the news and have wisely given their latest show over to the birds (Tuesday)

6. NPR quizmaster Ophira Eisenberg is popping in to monthly variety show Backfat, so come armed with questions you don’t even know the answers to (Tuesday)

7. Sit outside the fence at the Prospect Park bandshell and get your 90s kick from the Barenaked Ladies, Ben Folds Five and Guster, because it’s been one week since we were rockin’ the suburbs just like TK GUSTER REFERENCE (Tuesday)

8. Firefighters are mostly known for their sexy calendars, but Fairway is having them compete in a barbecue fight to see who will reign supreme in grilling, which you can help decide by eating (Wednesday)

9. Pop quiz! Do Goonies:
A. Never say “die”
B. Sometimes say “die”
C. Always say “die”

Find out the answer at SummerScreen’s Goonies screening! (Wednesday)

10. 8 Mile, inspired by Dave Chapelle’s “jokes and jokes and jokes” skit happens to have a screening right around the time Detroit has declared bankruptcy. Good timing, Brooklyn Bridge Park! (Thursday)

11. A woman biked all the way from San Francisco to Brooklyn Launchpad, all to talk about menstrual cups. May as well hear her out (Thursday)

12. Check out Girl, Interrupted at Videology and remember the days when Angelina Jolie won Oscars and Winona Ryder wasn’t known for being a common criminal (Thursday)

13. Dan Deacon, opening for Jamie Lidell at Prospect Park, will be sure to bring the Wham City with him. O ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma (Friday)

14. Rooftop Films gets experimental with a free screening of North of South, East of West, a movie that requires four separate screens to show (Friday)