Mysteries of NYC liquor laws, revealed!

Uh oh, here come the liquor authorities.

Liquor laws are a strange and Byzantine system of regulations and stipulations that are written in blood, bound in leather, disguised as a horcrux and buried deep in a cavern below the East River that is only accessible to the liquor board’s highly trained team of impossible astronauts. So that’s why it’s hard to figure out why certain bars can’t use their outdoor areas, or why you can’t dance on the bar Coyote Ugly style. Tomorrow at the Community Boards 2 and 6 will peel back the curtain a bit to show you how their systems work. BK Heights Blog reports tomorrow’s board meeting will be a neutral forum to clarify questions about noise, smoking, outdoor usage, garbage, getting a liquor licence approved and other issues, with reps from the State Liquor Authority, city agencies and local precincts. Drinks, however, will not be served.

Community Boards 2 and 6 meeting, 6pm Thursday, 250 Baltic St. in the auditorium Cobble Hill.