Monday lunchtime linkage

The police can’t save you from hipsters. No one can [NY Post]
Indie band or D & D monster? [SomethingAwful]
Let’s enrage Downton Abbey fans by comparing it to Entourage [AV Club]
Hockey’s coming back, thank god [ESPN]
DUMBO’s Clocktower is being turned over to the bros [Brooklyn Heights Blog]
Threats to ship your child to North Korea won’t work anymore [NY Mag]
Jerk hurricane closes delicious bakery [DNA Info]
NY Rep suggests trillion-dollar-coin, people take it seriously [Capital NY]
15 reasons why people who read Thought Catalog move to New York City [Bullet Media]