First, multiple Academy Award-nominated actress Michelle Williams moved to Ditmas Park, in an attempt to outrace or jump start gentrification, we’re not sure which. If that wasn’t trying to be Brooklyn enough though, Williams, who has shared the screen with modern Adonises like Ryan Gosling, Leonardo DiCaprio and Peter Dinklage, has now started a relationship with a Brooklyn writer. And not just any Brooklyn writer, but the tweest of the twee Brooklyn Jonathans, Jonathan Safran Foer. According to premiere soccer mom tabloid Us Weekly, the My Week with Marilyn actress is seeing and sharing vegan meals with the author of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. What?
An insider (guessing her local barista) told Us Weekly that she wasn’t “surprised that Michelle is attracted to him. She loves books. She reads almost every day!” Checks out to us: If you love books, surely you’ll be madly attracted to the first person you see who writes them.
This beautiful union has us wondering: How did this all happen? Yes, they have mutual friends, but what started the romance? Did Williams try to sound cool by telling Foer how sad she was that Brooklyn Night Baazar was moving? Or did the sexual tension rise when one choose Doughnut Plant, while the other choose Dough as the Donut of Brooklyn (it’s Peter Pan in case you really want to know)? Is Williams going to show off her date at the Brooklyn Flea as they haggle to buy furniture made before the 1950s? More importantly, think of the ramifications of all this. Is Jonathan Lethem going to pop up wherever Margot Robbie is and just drop “Fortress of Solitude” on her drink in the hopes that her heart flutters as she reads a few pages? Will this become an arms race to see which Brooklyn author can obtain the hottest starlet? If Scarlett Johannson interested in purchasing a condo in Crown Heights, will that be enough to make Martin Amis love Brooklyn again? The possibilities are endless.
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