Man ensnared by hipsters, lives to tell the tale

It's affecting our childen

It’s affecting our children

You guys…we just… Someone take the Sunday Review away from the Times until they promise never to publish something like Steven Kurutz’s “Caught in the Hipster Trap” ever again:

Every time I lace up a pair of Adidas or Vans, I might as well be saying I’m one of those hipsters with a closetful of retro ’80s street wear. Top-Siders paired with an Lacoste shirt are the realm of Vampire Weekend-type preppy hipsters. Any kind of heavy boots smack of up-with-the-working-man proletariat hipsters.

Is there more? Duh.

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Even the basic building blocks of a wardrobe have been hipsterfied. Jeans, especially slim-cut denim, are a hipster essential. So are white T-shirts, leather jackets and hooded sweatshirts. I could wear suits. But they would have to be boxy styles from Men’s Wearhouse, because anything slim or tailored is the province of high-fashion hipsters.

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Thirty years from now I’ll be able to un-self-consciously wear a cardigan and a tweed cap or fedora, because there is an age limit for being seen as a hipster, but, at the moment, hipsters have geezer style locked up.

Anyway, happy Monday! It’s gonna be a long week, isn’t it?