Just tell yourself that smell is love

Flowers. Chocolate. Drinking until you pretend to like each other again. Those your Valentine’s Day plans? Booooring. This is New York, land of enchantment purposeful weirdness. Instead of doing some traditional Valentine’s stuff, why don’t you play hooky from work and tour the Newtown Creek sewage plant? If being willing to spend an hour in architecturally interesting balls of sewage doesn’t say “love,” well, we don’t know what does.

And don’t think you’ll be the only people on the tour. The Department of Environmental Protection had to add a third tour for Valentine’s Day, because the first two filled up so fast. After a short overview of the plant, the tour will take you to the observation deck in the eggs, 120 feet above the ground. Interested? Of course you are. This tour starts at 11:00am, email events (at) dep.nyc.gov to try and get yourself a spot. And if you’re bitter and single, maybe you can also go on the tour and cleaning power of the plant will also work on humans? We mean metaphysically, please don’t go anywhere on the tour you’re not supposed to.