Chains overrunning Coney Island is becoming old news, what with all those cool, hip places like
Grizzlebees Applebees and Official Nets NBA store moving in. Still, there things that happen sometimes that reveal to you that you’re actually living the darkest possible timeline you could live in. In today’s news that drives that thought home, Coney Island is not only getting a new Subway on Surf Avenue, but it’s going to be a gigantic Subway Cafe. Finally, a safe space for Bill O’Reilly.
Amusing the Zillion has the unfortunate scoop on Subway replacing Surf Avenue’s Lago Furniture. You might be asking yourself two questions now. “Doesn’t Coney Island already have a subway there?” and “Isn’t that an awfully big place for just a Subway?” To answer your first questions, yes, Coney already has one. And yes, Lago Furniture is an enormous space for a Subway, which is why the 1700 square foot space isn’t just getting a normal Subway, it’s getting a Subway Cafe.
A Subway Cafe is like a regular depressing Subway except dressed up with a “Tuscan-style interior” meant to make you want to hang out and work your screenplay in there. In addition to Subway’s regular, unsatisfying and vaguely food-like sandwiches, Subway Cafes also serve pastries and coffee. So if you were really curious if you could find a croissant that was mostly air, just head on down to the Subway Cafe when it opens.
In the meantime, inspired by Lisa Hanwalt’s scribbles above, why don’t we think of a fresh new slogan for the “sandwich” chain, so they can have something new and exciting just like Brooklyn is. A couple we had in mind were:
- Subway: You Can Do Better
- Subway: Oh, You’re Better Than This Now?
- Subway: It Sounds Healthy?
(Subway napkin art courtesy Lisa Hanawalt)