Landlubbers, set sale for cheap vintage marine gear this Sunday in Red Hook

portside newyork heavy metal sale

You can probably figure out what to do with this thing. via PortSide NewYork

Are you a prospective restaurateur struggling to think of a theme for your future eatery? Stocking up for an elaborate production of your one-person show, “If I Were a Pirate”? Perhaps you’re just looking for a way to decorate your apartment like a ghost ship so you can dub it “the hull,” kind of creeping out all those who visit from now on, you weirdo? No matter what your goal, there’ll be some deals waiting for you at PortSide NewYork’s “Heavy Metal” sale at Pier 11 in Red Hook this Sunday, according to DNAInfo, where you’ll find all the marine gear, and none of the scurvy.

Three tractor trailers full of still-functional, industrial-scale maritime goods are going to back it up and allow all comers to peruse their cargo, including turnbuckles, big bollards, and actual red crosby hooks that you’ll pretty much have to buy so you can tell your friends that you bought a red hook in Red Hook, chuckle uncomfortably, then apologize for saying that.

Anyway, if you do choose to feel more at one with the sea by making a purchase or two, proceeds from the sale will benefit the nonprofit in its waterfront and Sandy recovery-related efforts. So, you can save money on heavy-duty, old goods formerly used by seafarers and feel like a good person while doing so. You’ll need that boost in self-esteem, since going that far for a joke about buying a red hook in Red Hook would probably cost you most of your friends.

The festivities start at 11am and run until 4pm at Red Hook’s Pier 11 loading dock, which is plenty of time for you to buy all the things to outfit the boat you probably don’t have, decorate the apartment you hopefully do have, or supplies you can repurpose if you’re artistically inclined. While prices for many of the items haven’t yet been set, they will be discounted, and you’ll be able to haggle like the salty dog you no doubt are.