Star Wars fever: huge swathes of America have caught it, throwing any caution we might have learned from the last time we got excited about a new movie to the harsh winds of Tattooine and embracing this shit like an offer of safe haven from our old pal Lando. As you know, Halyards is showing the films in Machete Order (you can catch the unfortunate Attack of the Clones tonight), and adding to Gowanus’ space cachet, you can now pick up Episode VII-themed ice cream at the Ample Hills Gowanus location, provided you order it online first.
Yes, you read that right, Ample Hills is selling official Star Wars-themed ice cream, which you can order online,debuting just in time for both the holidays and our desperation for any Star Wars-related item that we can get out hands on that isn’t actually The Force Awakens. To celebrate the release of the movie, Ample Hills has released two flavors: The Light Side (marshmallow ice cream with homemade crispie clusters, as well as a smattering of handmade cocoa crispies) and two pints of The Dark Side (ultra-dark chocolate ice cream with espresso fudge brownies, cocoa crispies, and white). Just remember that even if it’s called The Light Side this is still ice cream and will make you as fat a Hutt if you eat too much of it.
If you want to get your one normal and one cyborg hand on these guys, you can only do so by ordering online. You get two pints of each flavor for $36, which you can either get shipped to you or you can pick it up at the Gowanus store. If you ask us, it’s dangerous to allow people to think they can have both the light side and the dark side, as the slow embrace of evil is what turned Jacen Solo into the galaxy-destroying monster he became. Oh what’s that, you never read the Expanded Universe books where Han and Leia’s oldest son starts a new Galactic Civil War? Where you been?