Mama Brokelyn Monday: Kids’ karaoke in Park Slope

One of the more popular song selections at kids’ karaoke.

Ever notice how parents of babies are the most sanctimonious ones? Because only babies have to put up with organic kale, breast milk, unbleached organic cotton diapers, and sustainably harvested wood blocks. Not to mention all that quality message music from well-intended kindie bands. As soon as children are old enough to assert their own tastes, they want to eat crap, play with shitty plastic toys, mind meld with brain-frying electronic devices and listen to Z-100 nonstop.

If and when you’re ready to capitulate to your child’s top-40 tastes, consider taking him or her to kids’ karaoke Tuesday nights at Cheeburger Cheeburger in Park Slope. That is, if you can handle watching a gaggle of 6-to-9-year-old girls singing There’s passion in my pants and I aint afraid to show it. 

You actually might find yourself singing along.

The crowds have yet to discover this weekly event, but on our recent visits, those kids bold enough to take the stage (also known as the ramp leading to the bathroom) are loving busting out their best Nicki Minaj and David Guetta. As with most karaoke, you have to be able to read, so it’s pretty much a 6-and-up affair. (Last week, the DJ tried also tried playing a kiddie song about rainbows or friendship or something but nobody bit.)

Girl, look at these flavors.

It may offend some artisanal palates to dine at a national burger-and-shake chain with an ersatz sock hop theme, but your kids won’t care that they can have the same dinner in Topeka. The $5.49 kids menu items come with a half milkshake add-on for $2.99. Boring school-lunch buns aside, the burgers are decent, and also the Van Leeuwen truck doesn’t sell creamsicle-s’mores milkshakes.

So why isn’t there more kids’ karaoke? It’s a great idea. But be warned: if you’re not there for karaoke on a Tuesday night, we’d advise sitting as far away from the DJ booth as possible. Or go somewhere else.

Kids’ Karaoke at Cheeburger Cheeburger, 222 7th Ave. at 3rd Stret. Tuesday nights from 6 to 8.