So far, the most exciting thing that’s happened in the mayoral race has probably been John Castimaditis yelling “Bullshit!” at a Young Republicans meeting. It’s early though, we get it. But, here comes Jimmy McMillan to show that he’s an expert on more than the rent being too damn high, he’s also an ex-stripper, relationship expert and cow-o-phile. How do we know all this? He appeared on a podcast, and it was wonderful.
McMillan appeared on the Ménage à Trois Radio podcast, hosted by local funny people Murff Meyer and Dinanimal Kolsky. For one, he refused to take potshots at competitor Anthony Weiner: “I don’t talk about nobody’s weiner, I talk about my weiner…he’s a freak, let him do what he wants to do.” We also learned the following about, or from McMillan:
-He’s a former stripper. To make money for his daughter who had spinal bifida, after the VA wouldn’t help him he turned to stripping. He was successful enough at it that he could show up at her house with a briefcase full of money for her spinal surgery and was chased away by her stepfather. He hasn’t seen her since.
-He once suffered from a priapism
-The sexiest animal in his mind is the cow
-His idol? Ronald Reagan
-He knows all your grandmothers were pot smokers – “I rolled up pot and gave it to you.”
-His response to people who tell him he’s unelectable because of how he talks? “Fuck ‘em.”
-How’d he get so famous so fast? “I told the damn truth”
-If you’re at a bar talking to a young lady, “Shut the fuck up, go on take the drink and stop trying to show ’cause your boys are looking in” or you’ll ruin the whole damn thing
-Ladies: “It’s time to let someone kiss your lips…time to throw that tongue out there a little bit more.”
Anyway, it’s Friday, it’s the first day of the summer, so stop working for a half-hour and get everyone in your office to sit and listen to this: