13 reasons why fall rocks in Brooklyn

Sigourney Weaver is all of us via Imgur

Sigourney Weaver is all of us. via Imgur

You know those cheery Christmas loving freaks who cram holiday spirit down your throat as soon as September hits? Screw that. Cue the Ghostbusters theme and the dancing pumpkin newscasters because I’m here to talk up the best season: Fall! It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Brokelyn may seem like the ultimate pro-summer fan club with our tank tops and our articles on beach forts, but not all of us bask in the sun. Some of us prefer the homier aspects of the changing seasons, basking in our ghostly paleness, layering up, and putting our final touches on the Halloween costume we’ve been working on since last October.

With the fall equinox coming and going this past Thursday, Brooklynites have already been graced with lower temperatures and dead, stomp-worthy leaves on the sidewalk. So many things lie in store as the weeks go on; pumpkins, Halloween, finally figuring out what season six of American Horror Story is actually about…  I can’t be the only one to Google what Roanoke was, but regardless, here are 13 reasons why fall is supreme.


#neverforgetbarb via Design By Human

#neverforgetbarb via Design By Human

1. Horrors, thrillers and killers, galore

They’re coming for you, Barbara. And I’m not talking Barb from Stranger Things, I’m talking OG Barbara from Night of the Living Dead. As a person who doesn’t particularly enjoy being startled in her day to day life, I’m that person who can’t help but yell at her laptop screen because of the creep-ass clown in the drain, the driving behind the log truck on the highway, the creepy music building in the background, etc. Horror movies make you feel alive, and thanks to Netflix and Hulu (and HBONow and Amazon Prime because I have a streaming addiction), you can have access to all the spooky movies and TV shows your twisted heart could desire.

Some personal  favorites: Political Debates (those start tonight!) Heathers, Thankskilling, The Shining, Vertigo, Silence of the Lambs, Evil Dead, the Babadook,  X-Files, etc. Oh and heads up: There are still tickets available for the Brooklyn Horror Film Festival! 

2. You can drink your coffee hot again

It may be refreshing on a hot day, but let me tell you what blows about cold brew. The ice melts! It makes for a watered-down caffeine nightmare, not to mention the condensation around the cup that makes rings and stains all over everything. I prefer my coffee steaming hot and undiluted; I can live with a burnt tongue. With temperatures beginning to drop below 70, you too can now flaunt your thermos full of piping hot java wherever you damn well please.

3. Jeans and denim, whatever the weather

Boots and pants. We all know I’m one to wear mom-shorts for every occasion, but the time has come  to retire your jorts for the season. You can now conceal your unshaven/bicycle-bruised legs in skinny jeans and fleece-lined leggings with an oversized sweater in tow. Or two. Or two sweaters and a jean jacket aka my daily fashion choice once temps drop below 65 degrees. 

Throw on a knitted scarf and lace up those combat boots like you’re ready to fight the patriarchy. Now THAT’S autumnal.

Awesome thrift stores to check out with the current (gently used) fall fashions: 10 ft. Single by Stella Dallas in Williamsburg, Monk Vintage Thrift Shop in Park Slope, the L-Train Vintage in Bed-Stuy.

This took me 6 hours to make via Danielle Murphy

4. Express yourself in the name of spook. 

There’s a special art to dressing up for Halloween in New York — layering up for the weather while still pulling off the costume. And who the hell has $50+to blow on a Halloween costume? This is 2016, people. I’ve been making my own Halloween costumes since high school. Last year on I came to work brunch as a punk-rocking ghoul who got trampled at the Rock Show. The year before that? I doubled up on costumes going as a birthday cake and then Poison Ivy. Brooklyn is a city of thrift, costume and craft stores, so the possibilities are endless. Stand out and be creative in a sea of Eleven’s and Harley Quinn’s this Halloween!

I myself plan on being a Wind Dancer this year (you know, those blow up things outside of used car dealerships) or just grabbing a nude unitard and a pillow and going as Jessica Day aka Tiger Boob in the pilot episode of New Girl.

5. Beer and cider

Come on, who doesn’t love good beer and cider? Oktoberfest is right around the corner (#sponcon: Catfish already has two Oktoberfest inspired beers on draft including made-in Michigan Bells!) as well as Ace Joker cider for those who rock the gluten-free lifestyle. Now that things are cooling down, you can start drinking stouts and porters again, too, without the fear of a heavy stomach in the heat.

And ya know, there’s pumpkin spiced beers out there, too. For you freaks who can’t get enough ~spice in ya life~.

6. Rocky Horror Picture Show

I blame watching Rocky Horror Picture Show at an impressionable age for the crude, awkward person I am today. When my mom was in high school, she used to sneak out of my grandparent’s house to go to midnight showings with friends, only to be caught the next morning because of all the debris she trekked back into the house upon returning. When I was 16, my mother allowed me to host my own Rocky Horror viewing party in my basement, and damn it, Janet, it was one of the best parties I’ve ever hosted.

Admittedly, I’m wary of the FOX adaption coming out October 20th, even with the addition of Tim Curry to the cast. RHPS is something that should never be touched because it’s already perfect just the way it is. But! At least it’s introducing a new generation of audiences to the Time Warp, and while some of the crudeness may (probably) be censored out for the sake of family-valued television, us big kids have upcoming screenings of the original to look forward to around Manhattan and Brooklyn.

Not so secret secret: I dream to one day play Columbia. I already have the tap dancing skills and the shorts. Think you got what it takes? NYC RHPS is taking on new actors for showings at Cinépolis.

7. The smells.

We get it, you like pumpkin spice! But there are so many more fall-related smells worth sniffing out there: Apple Cinnamon! Stuffing! Pie! Bonfires! The latter is legally limited. But hey, there’s a candle for everything these days, and anything smells better than hot trash in Brooklyn.

My Body's a Zombie for You via Pitchfork

My Body’s a Zombie for You via Pitchfork

8. Spotify playlists.  

Chi chi chi, ah ah ah. Ya’ll don’t know what you’re missing when it comes to Screaming Jay Hawkins “I Put a Spell on You,” and did you know that heartthrob Ryan Gosling is in a hauntingly themed band called Dead Man’s Bones? That’s the only clown I am down with. Also, nothing puts me more in the fall mood than dancing around the apartment to “This is Halloween” drunk at 2am and singing Talking Heads “Psycho Killer” to my roommates through the bathroom door.  

Personal recommendations for a spooktacular playlist: Any music found in a Alfred Hitchcock film, The White Stripes, B-52’s, The Velvet Underground, Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs, No Doubt, The Fratellis, etc.

9. Football, I guess 

FOOTBALL. I know very little about football. I know that when you score a touchdown it’s six points, and that a field goal kick is worth one point (thanks to high school gym class). Back in MI, my ex-boyfriend would spend every Sunday religiously watching grown men toss a pigskin around all day with out friends, whereas this is when I got most of my reading/homework done. Anyway, people seem to like it.

I understand that there is many a person out there who watch the sport religiously, even. So here’s a little shout-out to you!  To those who can actually tolerate watching a sport for more than 20 minutes. Even more of a shout-out to those who throw their money into fantasy leagues. May the stats be ever in your favor.

I’ll see you when the Super Bowl rolls around. I hear Lady Gaga is performing at half-time this year, but I’m secretly hoping for another Beyonce performance… #formation.

10. Goodbye to the beach bod. 

Bye, bikinis! Time to stock up on turkey and mashed potatoes for winter hibernation! Ever wonder why skinny people always complain about being cold? It’s because they don’t have enough meat on their bones. I’ve never been one to count calories, and with my intake of cramming pie and cookies beginning to rise, you’ll find me plump, comfortable, and pleased with myself once November rolls around and I refuse to leave the house due to the cold.

Time for drunken merriment via the Odyssey Online

Time for drunken merriment via the Odyssey Online

11. Friendsgiving. 

Living in Brooklyn can be hard during the holiday season, with most of us being transplants from other states. Last Thanksgiving was the first time I was ever away from my immediate family, and while I was a little down in the dumps, I had three Friendsgiving dinners to look forward to. Who says that you can’t have you own New York misfit family to celebrate with?  Ya’ll probably got drunk the night before together, anyways.

Time to eat turkey and rally. (Just remember to give the family back home a call.)

12. You can sleep at night again.

I awoke the other night because it got too chilly in my room, which led me to pull out my massive down comforter from the closet. The next morning, I woke up refreshed, having forgotten what it was like to sleep through the night without waking up in a pool of my own sweat.

It’s also officially cuddle weather again, and you don’t have to pay someone to do it. Just grab your kitties and body pillows.

RIP Michael Jackson via Youtube

RIP moonwalking prince via Youtube

13. Death is all around us. 

A little bleak, but this is a transitional phase in all of our lives. Bugs are dying! Leaves are changing! It’s getting colder, days are getting shorter and it’s only a few shorts months before the long-foreshadowed winter is here.

Fall usually signifies change, whether it be the returning to school, moving into a new apartment, or making some big life moves. So why not roll with the punches and enjoy the time we have now while we zombie walk to Thriller? No? Okay, just me then.

Fall-ow Hope on Twitter: @havinghope14