Ho ho no: SantaCon is coming to town

Bro. Bro, come on bro.

Bro. Bro, come on bro.

If, in a quiet moment, you thought you heard the “BWAMMP” sound from Inception, well, it’s not (solely) because someone dosed your drink. Despite whatever prayers and animal sacrifices you’ve offered up to your chosen deity, barftastic fratfest SantaCon is back, and they’re coming to Brooklyn. But in the spirit of banding together with your neighbors for Christmas, bars and restaurants are fighting back against the scourge of red-suited drunks and letting them know they aren’t welcome. Regular drunks are, as always, greeted with open arms.

SantaCon, for the uninitated, is the annual fratty charlie foxtrot in which a marauding group of bros and bro-ettes dress like Santa and act like drunken sociopaths. Think we’re being harsh? Check out the copy on their Brooklyn map: “Pussy Santas are down by dark. Those who can hold their own hit Williamsburg for posing, gastropub red-nosing and the best after-party since Mrs. Claus lost her panties atop the North Pole.” Charming.

If you insist on staying in Williamsburg despite the fact that this comes across the river after nine hours of binge drinking reveling in Manhattan, you’ve got an ally in Eater. The foodies made these nifty posters, seen above, for restaurants to hang in their window to ward off guys with Goldschlager puke in their fake beards/act as a beacon for people just looking to enjoy a meal. Of course, you can always take cover in one of Brooklyn’s many craft fairs this weekend or, if you’re committed to north Brooklyn, finally go out and visit your friends in Bushwick.

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