During rainy spring weeks like this, it may seem like there’s nothing to do except mope around between home and work and home again, praying for the sun to come out. And sure, there’s Netflix while you wait. There’s Seamless, too. But as you might’ve heard, we hate New York softies who retreat into their dens of convenience when the going gets tough. It’s times like these you ought to be slip-and-sliding in a bathing suit through the rain-filled streets, thanking your lucky stars you picked a place to live where the city DGAF if you do weird shit like erect a street memorial for recently-deceased TV characters or ride a horse down a main street’s bike lane.
In that spirit, here’s a free yacht we found on Craigslist.
The “Tee Gee & Two” is the perfect way to conquer the borough’s sewage-colored seas this season, rain or shine. Get a head start on avoiding summer regret by hauling this baby out onto the Hudson. You can motor over to a floating farmer’s market, or just laugh at all the land-bound chumps on Wall Street from the seaport. Best of all? The “elderly dad” who’s giving this yacht away will help you fix it right up if you take him fluke fishing on it.
The boat is a vintage 25′ Luhrs yacht with an 8-cylinder engine. It just needs hauling out from the garage in Sheepshead Bay where it’s been stored for the winter, as well as a little maintenance. The seller warns that this could cost you as much as $1,000 after all is said and done. But hey, if you split the cost of maintenance between a few friends, you could all SHARE A YACHT and throw summer parties on the water at sunset. (If the sun ever comes out again.)
According to the listing, the boat’s owner is “an elderly dad [who] just can’t keep up with [the yacht] any longer,” and “he’d even help you with minor repairs provided you take him fluke fishing.”
This is probably not a joke. There is an elderly dad in Sheepshead Bay who can’t keep up with his old yacht any longer, but wants you to take him fishing on it.
We reached out to the seller for comments, but he didn’t respond. Probably because he also expressly wrote, “Don’t email me if this is a dream of yours.” In other words, if you’re a boating rookie who’s just getting acquainted with the machinery, then this isn’t the starter yacht for you. But otherwise, avast ye! Get your hands on this yacht before a landlord does.