Ted Cruz has problems with New York values! He thinks the city is “socially liberal, pro-abortion and pro-gay marriage” which isn’t true for the entire city of course, it’s just that everyone here has better things to do than be intolerant. He also says we’re obsessed with the media, which is true, because that’s how you read things, and money, which no one else in the country obsesses about.
But Ted Cruz?? You got a problem with New York City values?? Cruzin’ for a bruizin’ is what they’ll call you in New York. Well I’ll tell ya we got some of the best values in the country. Cram these New York City values in your caucus hole:
A dollar slice of pizza, one of the best values in town!
— Mike Gregorek (@gregorekmike) December 4, 2014
You can travel 154.6 miles on a single swipe. That’s .02 cents a mile. What a value!
A Northside Festival badge, just $60 right now for 450 bands and unlimited summer optimism, which makes it just 13 cents a band, a great value!
A photo posted by Snap Hot Dogs (@snaptruck) on
Dumplings, 8 for $2, a 25-cent-a-dumpling value! Wow!
— WNYC (@WNYC) October 1, 2015
Beer and shot specials, only $3 at Gotham City Lounge. Cheers to that value!
The Brooklyn Cocktail Book, $25 for 2-for-1 drinks at more than 25 bars.
A photo posted by Hannah Duke (@worstduke) on
Sunday nights at Full Circle Bar, when the drinks are $4 and skeeball is free all night. If you play 100 games, that’s a $100 value!
— ILIE Fugaru (@Newyorkez) August 6, 2015
The ability to walk around in a big messy city and mostly get along in a functioning, efficient way while still respecting each other and making cool stuff like hip hop musicals about founding fathers. Now talk about values!
It’s almost like Ted Cruz doesn’t even know New York. Never forget: