Ava Luna won’t stop growing until they’re the size of the Polyphonic Spree.

1. Internet videos you’ve loved make their way to the big screen, but since they’re at Nitehawk, you can still drink while you watch them, just like at home. (Monday)

2. Let’s face it, your resume has really been lacking in the “lovingly engraved typeface” department. (Monday)

3. The Sackett Street Writers Workshop takes a well-earned victory lap. (Monday)

4. The web series is called The Outs but you can’t possibly be that much on the outs if you get Ava Luna to play your screening. Ava Luna, guys! They’re great! (Monday)

5. Will processed foods turn your insides to plastic? Only one way to find out! (Tuesday)

6. Relive your terrible high school memories with Brokelyn contributor Andrew Linderman and his panel of expert storytellers. (Tuesday)

7. Or relive your terrible contemporary sexual memories at Public Assembly. (Tuesday)

8. The Secret Science Club teaches you about modern brain science, so you can finally outwit that evil bastard in your skull. (Wednesday)

9. Here’s a tip: if you go dance where Quebecois DJ Michael Alario is spinning, don’t ask him about the Nordiques. (Wednesday)

10. If you weren’t able to take a vacation this summer, why not listen to people talk about theirs? (Thursday)

11. LESBIAN METAL BAR DANCE PARTY! Think we just wrote a Post headline there. (Thursday)

12. That none of the pieces are called “I Was Here First So Stay the Hell Out, You Hipster Jerk” proves that the “Coming to Brooklyn” exhibit at BWAC is an obvious fraud open-minded and reasonable. (Friday)

13. It’s about time someone started turning our infrastructure into trees, instead of the other way around. (Friday)

14. Babeland figures that if a bunch of jerk billionaires are getting off on the Libor Barclay’s Center, you should too. We heartily agree. (Friday)

Listings pulled from the Brokelyn events calendar. Add yours today!