Well, Macy’s has strategically positioned their barges so as to starve non-north Brooklynites of the air pollution show this 4th. Thus, we recommend getting the hell out of our fair borough for the afternoon, if only in a bizarre pseudo protest of Macy’s barges, and peace to Queens. Specifically, to the Riis Park Beach Bizarre Get Summered event TODAY.

In the word of the organizer, “Get Summered is celebrating America’s single status with an all-out dance party at the beach.”

The lineup for this year’s party includes BlindSpot, Love Taps, Ratta and DJs Dirtyboogie and Jossai.

The event is free and starts today at noon.

If you’ve got a car, you’re gucci; if you don’t have a car, you can find a way to get there via our comprehensive list of every way to get to the Rockaways, from the Rockaway Beach Bus to good ol’ public transit.

Nothing says ‘murica like a beach party folks.

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