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Gain fame and fortune by developing the next great condom

Yes, we suppose you could name it Casper the Friendly Condom. via Flickr user Hey Paul Studios
Yes, we suppose you could name it Casper the Friendly Condom. via Flickr user Hey Paul Studios

Hey science nerds, you’ve made modern living pretty freaking comfortable, but riddle us this: why haven’t you made a condom that people actually enjoy using? And don’t sit here and tell us that it actually feels the same with one, no one believes you. What, too busy finding the God particle or destroying AIDS and cancer? Booooring. Give us better condoms! Know who agrees with us? Bill Gates, that’s who, and he’s offering a $100,000 grant to any of you out there who can deliver. Brooklyn has science nerds, so why not have one of ours do it?

The Observer picked up on the story that the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation wants someone out there to develop a new condom that guys would actually look forward to using. Oh, and that also retains the functionality of the condom and keeps people from getting pregnant and diseased. That part is probably important. Of course, all kidding aside, the contest is actually open to people of all stripes, not just science nerds. As long as you can provide them with a working hypothesis that shows people would be into your new super-condom from America to Zimbabwe, the Foundation will sit down and listen to you. Yes, even you, social workers. And sure, a $100,000 grant isn’t actually $100,000 to go spend like a madman, but if you get the grant and make this condom, the odds are you’ll be way more rich and famous than a mere $100,000 could provide.

3 Comments

  1. al fair

    what could possibly be done to make guys look forward to using a condom? they’re all brainwashed into thinking anything on their penis is a hindrance. there is already the internal (‘female’) condom.

    condoms are fucking amazing. an attitude adjustment makes more sense than a new style.

    also, would it be illegal to just advertise a condom as being made from some super new material that doesn’t desensitize your penis and then selling regular condoms? because i think that might actually work.

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