Friday lunchtime linkage

Note to self: do NOT forget wallet before going out to eat [NYDN]
JJ Abrams is directing Star Wars. Adjust complaints accordingly [AV Club]
Biggest news from Coachella lineup? Jurassic 5 still exists! [Brooklyn Vegan]
Instagram your way through the dating world [NY Mag]
Gambling on the Puppy Bowl? Here’s your scouting report [The Atlantic]
Cold weather means killers stay home under blankets too [ANIMAL]
Mike Bloomberg has emotions, like you hu-mans [Observer]
South Williamsburg is getting a pedestrian plaza [Brooklyn Paper]
The terrible sex advice of Men’s Health [The Good Men Project]