Five spots to check out the State of the Union tonight

Ol'Handsome Joe Biden bides his time...

Ol’Handsome Joe Biden bides his time…

If you’ve been experiencing politics withdrawal since quitting cold turkey following the election, we have good news for you: tonight is the State of the Union the nerd Pro Bowl to the election’s nerd Super Bowl. And Ted Nugent’s gonna be there, so maybe we’ll get something way more entertaining than a “You lie!” moment. If that happens, what better place to be than a room full of drunk strangers who’s politics you aren’t totally sure of? So, here’s some bars where you can watch it all go down tonight.

Longbow Pub and Pantry
7316 3rd Avenue, Bay Ridge

The Nuge would not approve, but he sucks anyway.

The Nuge would not approve, but he sucks anyway.

The Bay Ridge Democrats are watching the SOTU at an authentic Welsh pub that serves excellent fish’n'chips. Sounds like it’ll give the party a treason-y edge, or at least make The Nuge slightly more right when he gets up and drunkenly yells about how “Demo-rats hate America.”

East River Bar
97 South 6th Street, Williamsburg

Enter if you dare. Or whatever.

Enter if you dare. Or whatever.

I made a Pro Bowl joke before, but the folks at the East River Bar are taking apathy about the State of the Union to new heights. Their party is simply described as “Exactly what you think it is.” Which, if we’re totally honest, we think is going to be five people trying to watch while everyone else has loud conversations because they’re in a bar.

Boulevard Tavern
579 Meeker Avenue, Greenpoint

Your portal to drunken immigration debates

Your portal to drunken immigration debates

On the other hand, Boulevard is treating the speech like the Super Bowl, lugging out their big screen for this one. Even better is the fact that Tuesday is $6 tequila and Sol night. Turn it into a drinking game by seeing how many of them you can drink during the “immigration policy” section of Obama’s speech.

Sage
299 – 301 Graham Avenue, Williamsburg

Don't worry, all eyes will be on the TV tonight

Don’t worry, all eyes will be on the TV tonight

Pay tribute to the president’s time growing up in East Asia by hitting up Thai restaurant/bar Sage. Yes, we know Indonesia is different from Thailand. But that doesn’t change the fact that if you end up famished while arguing with someone about the moral cowardice that is our drone policy you can at least stop for a sec and get some food.

Chez LOLA
387 Myrtle Avenue, Clinton Hill

If you like your State of the Union with questions AND answers

If you like your State of the Union with questions AND answers

Chez Lola isn’t letting something like the State of the Union get in the way of their sacred trivia night, which is their right as Americans. Instead, they’ll be showing the SOTU and then launching into trivia, though no word on whether it will be politically-themed this time. But if they do ask “Who is the worst State of the Union guest of all time?” don’t answer “Ted Nugent.” The answer is “Orly Taitz,” when she¬†inevitably gets invited next year.